Monday, May 23, 2011

its one day at a time



the pretty birds from early this morning..

i have been doing good today..i have already got 60 ounces of water down me and i didnt even look at the pop..we have diet pop in the fridge but any pop is bad for me now..so i woke up drinking water..and i am going to bed drinking water..i went and weighed today..well it wasnt bad...at least not as bad as i thought it would be..

i weighed 330 pounds..so thats my start again.330 i seem to like to start at that number ..i dont know why but i do..lol but at least its not 350 like i thought it would be..i really feel that big and i know i look that big..i hate the way i look these days..i was becoming smaller looking and even kinda pretty when i was down to 296..and then something happened and i lost it..now its hard to walk a mile and i was walking 3 miles..but i am doing it..i cant keep whining about what was and just do it..

my journey seems to be taking longer than i wanted but i guess that is up to me..if i really wanted to get it off i would have kept going and not stopped..so now i am taking it one day at a time..thats all i can do..i am going to have weak days and i am going to have strong nothing will get in my way days...i only hope i have more strong ones than weak ones..

today was a day where it could have gone bad, if i had let it..i went to the medical supply store to get something for my mom and there was a jar of candy bars sitting right on the couter ..only .25 cents for each one ..and i had a dollar right in my hand..oh my my favorite chocolate..but i decided it wasnt a smart choice..right now for me i dont need to be eating the candy bars even though i will not just quit all together..this is the beginning i dont need to be tempted..

so i walked out without the chocolate..and i was proud of myself..i made it thru..i ate a salad and had a grilled chicken go wrap and had ice water..i love ice water..that is the best kind to have..i could have gotten coke but i said no i dont need the extra calories..i mean look at how many calories are in pop...150 to 8 ounces of pop..how awful and if we super size it or we make it a 32 ounce because its cheaper, were only hurting ourselves..getting that much pop is way too many calories for anyone too have..

i know i will be losing weight just because i am not drinking pop anymore..sometimes i dont care for the water all the time, but it doesnt have any calorie intake and that is something i am watching..i also dont need the sugar whether its sugar or sweetners..i dont need it either..so my day wasnt bad..

i then came home to a storm ..we keep having the storms aroud here now..its tornado season so now we have to stay aware..but the storm held back til i got in at least a half a mile..so i did walk some today..i feel good about this day..and i know that tomorrow is going to be another day and there will be challenges then too..but i feel like i can over come them now just by taking it one day at a time..

have a great night
kelli

Sunday, May 22, 2011

its been too long



the clouds tonight..while i was walking
wow i have been away tooo long ..i havent exercised or even cared about drinking water or getting off pop or anything i am supposed to be caring about since december of last year..wow going on 6 months and i have put the weight back on too..well today i decided it isnt coming off by itself and it isnt going to help me any to just keep getting bigger and bigger..

i cant do that to myself..the other day a little girl asked me when i was having the baby..awe the honesty of a little one..they dont know how to be tactful yet..they just know what they see..and yep in my clothes i do look pregnant..isnt that awful i know i have gained probably all of it back..i will see tomorrow..

i decided i was going to drink water..i was going to walk too..and i did i even counted the calories today..i ate 1100 calories and i have drank 60 ounces so far of water and i walked almost a mile in 40 minutes ...well the time will get better soon...

i have been sick all weekend too with migraines so walking for me was a big thing..but i did it..i was glad i did it too..i feel good now..i really do..i dont know how much i am going to lose each month but at least i will be losing..its a whole lot better than gaining like ive been doing..

i dont know what happened, except i got to where i just wasnt caring ..it was like the pop was my comfort and if i felt the least bit depressed which i did alot of the time, i would end up with reg.pop a 32 ounce reg.pop and i got to where i was eating candy in my room too..i would watch tv at night and i would have twizzlers in my bedroom..sometimes chocolate..so thats a big no no..and i dont mean a bite..

but i started thinking i really want to be thin when i graduate and i will feel so much better walking when i am a 100 pounds thinner and then 200 pounds thnner..cause yes i have 200 pounds to lose..it has too come off or i will be dead sooner than i want to be..

well i will stop til tomorrow..i am going to do this everynight..i am going to be faithful to the blog..and to myself..thanks for the support..

have a great night..
kelli