My Journey Through Life

Well this is me Kelli Campbell now, and I have been married now for almost 5 years. I have gone through both of my parents passing away and my aunts and my cousin who I was very close too. I have a great husband who is always right here for me whenever I need him, and will do anything for me. I am a stepmama and stepgrandma to some great kids who I honestly wish I could see more often ,I guess every parent is like that. My sister has now moved away to be closer to her son and grandkids and I miss her everyday. She was like my second mom.

My husband and I both need to get our weight off, and we have needed it for a long time. I dont know what happened but it seems as though I am bigger than I was when I started this weight loss several years ago. You would think I would have lost all of this weight by now but I guess I am just like everyone else I like to eat and drink pop. Now I know drinking pop is bad and it will eventually get my heart but Pepsi is like my all time favorite drink and its just so hard to get off of it. I am going to though, because if I don't I will not be around for as long as I would like to be. I am 48 almost 49 now and that age is starting to get to me now. I am a photographer as you can see I take pictures of everyone and everything and I have since I was small. I love taking pictures of my family so you will probably always see a picture or two of my family on here. I thought I might try blogging again and see how it helps me with my weight. I know the support really helped alot before and now I am just as big or bigger than I was then.

my pretty mama.

This blog is going to be about my journey through life just as it says, the ups and the downs and all that goes with it. I am trying to face my weight head on and will need all the support I can get a hold of .If you want to come along with the journey please feel free to do so. Thank you for reading and stay safe!
                      Kelli Campbell

These are the grandgirls and 2 of the girls.

This is the other grandgirl she is a cutie.

Me and Tim at Christmas time.

My mom and dad in 2003.

This is my sister susie and she looks great.

our grandbaby birthday party she turned 2.

she and grandpa fell asleep.

wow this has been a long time!

Wow it has been a long time since I have done this, and now I am back to trying to lose weight all over again. I have gotten married since I last wrote this blog and both of my parents are now gone which isnt easy to go through. Day to day I have to keep telling myself that losing weight is for my own good, and day to day my brain just doesnt listen. 

I am sure my nephew sean is probably tired of me saying I need help but for some reason it just doesnt come off as well as it does for men. I mean really ladies dont you agree..this weight is like its stuck like glue haha..I am trying to really get my photography business going now and was doing really well, until it just sorta fell and it seemed that no one wanted to have their picture taken anymore..

I am almost 50 now boy that hits hard..I didnt think I would be 50 someday..I remember when I was a little kid and 50 was old..I never thought I would reach 50 but three more years and I will be there. 

Today wasnt such a bad day as far as food goes, I never eat a lot but thats what sean always says is that you have to eat little meals all day. The only thing is I dont always have the money to buy the food so we dont always have a lot of food. Tim and I he is my husband, we are getting ready for his surgery on monday morning, he is having a complete knee replacement and will have to learn to walk again. I hope he doesnt have any more pain, he has been in enough for many years now please say a prayer for him for monday..thanks.

I am going to go ahead and get off of this and see what other websites I can look at tonight..lol  you all have a wonderful night!

needing to quit

I feel like i am a food addict.
i need to quit sugar.
i need to quit pop.
i feel like if i dont, i will die.
i am tired of feeling unhealthy.
i am tired of not being able to walk.
i need to walk.
i need to be back to being like i was.
im tired of being tired.
im tired of feeling old.
im 43 and i feel 73.
my back hurts all the time.
my legs hurt all the time.
im just tired.


NOW WHAT TO DO!


I am going to walk.
i am going to lose weight.
I am going to gain control of my life.
I am going to feel good again.
I am going to be normal again.
I have to be.
I am going to do it this time!
I am going to change my life for the better.
I am going to make better choices.

I AM GOING TO DO THIS
I AM!

thursdays blog on friday!

this is for yesterday, i got home from class too late and didnt feel like getting on the computer. i am here at work today doing my blog, i havent got anything to do right now so i thought i would write yesterdays blog. yesterday was not a good day for my concentration. i just couldnt or didnt focus on what i needed to focus on.

i got up sick and stayed sick most all day. i didnt go to work and stayed asleep for quite a while. when i did get up, i ate very little food yesterday. what i ate going to class and coming home from class made up for the whole day, i ate junk food, i drank regular pop, not one but two bottles, one right after the other. it was bad, i even got a regular pop for this morning to bring with me, its just a habit i can tell its a habit, if i just got pepsi max or sprite zero it would be better for me.

i just didnt concentrate, maybe i was just nervous, i am in spanish class at night and i am not doing as well as i would like in this class so maybe its my nerves, but i did do something good last night, i got a salad and ate it. i hadnt even thought of a salad in a long time, and there it was a salad. you know what, it was good too. i really liked it and it got me to thinking better.

maybe this is all a habit, i just need to get into a better habit of what i eat and do this everyday. i really need to be drinking my water, i think about it, but i dont do it, and that is not going to help me any. so yesterday was not good but today is another day and i am going to try to focus on it today and keep that up, maybe i can get into a habit of focusing on it and keep doing it, i would sure like to see myself thin one day. i dont even know what i would look like thin. well i better get to work ..you all have a great day!

thinking is better than not thinking..i think..lol

my beautiful cousin bobbie joe who is now a model, posing for me at one of our many photoshoots this year..she is a beauty.i love to take her picture

I have been better today at thinking about what i need to do..well actually remembering to concentrate on what i have to eat or not eat and drink. Although my drinking pop leaves something to be desired, my concentrating on food is getting somewhat better. I started my day not thinking about what i should be drinking, just grabbing the pepsi that i had in the fridge to take with me to work. See the way i was thinking was that i could drink just one bottle all morning and as opposed to 2 cans of pop that i normally drink by the end of my shift. i guess i was thinking 250 is better than 300 and it is but it is still not good to begin with.

SO TOMORROW I SHALL TAKE A GLASS OF WATER..ITS WHAT I NEED ANYWAY!

I ate my protein bar like i do every morning but i need to think of maybe fruit instead. There is really too much sugar in the protein bars to really help with weight loss, and really do these bars really curb our hunger, or DO WE JUST MAKE OURSELVES BELIEVE THEY DO..!

When i came home i had already consumed ice cream and regular pop and that protein bar..toooo much chocolate way to much sugar..its really a good thing that i am not a diabetic because i would probably be very sick by now. i brought home jr, cheeseburgers from braums for all of us to have here at the house and so i had mine and ate it pretty fast.. i am going to have to start slowing down and realizing i have food in my mouth.

I didnt eat anything but a bag of popcorn that of course had butter on it...ya know looking at everything i have been having today, i think i am a food addict as well or at least a sugar addict..i know that much..but the thing that i am looking at today is the fact that i have thought about it..even if i didnt do well with the food, i did look at it and say i need to do something now..

I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN NOW AND SAYING NO! NO ! NO!..I DONT WANT TO GO ON ANY FURTHER..!

I didnt eat when we went to wendys and it really wasnt because i was making any kind of effort but because i am not feeling well and have been and still am sick. But by the time i got out of class tonight i was hungry..i guess i really hadnt had anything that was healthy just junk food, and of course i didnt get anything that was healthy either. i went right over and got a 20 piece mcnuget from mickeyDs..not the best kind of food to eat but i was hungry and craving it for some reason..

I ate half which is 10 of them a whopping 450 calories..but i didnt get a pop this time..i have cut back on how much pop i am drinking, at least today i am cutting back..tomorrow i may just cut it out i dont know..

But what i like the best is that i am trying to do something now..BEFORE IT WAS LIKE I HAD GIVEN UP AND DIDNT CARE..now i need to care even if this is all i have in life just to take care of my mom and myself and just be here on this earth..at least i will be here..and not 6 feet under..ITS TOO EARLY FOR ME TO DIE..I MAY BE READY TO SEE GOD AND HEAVEN BUT I AM NOT READY TO LEAVE THIS EARTH..

tomorrow starts the day all over again and another day where i have to watch it..but there will never be a day where i dont have to watch my weight...its just in me,
BUT IT HASNT BEEN TOO BAD TODAY! MAYBE TOMORROW WILL BE A BRIGHTER DAY AND A BETTER DAY AND ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING THE TRUE ME..THE ME THAT SO WANTS TO GET OUT OF THIS FAT BODY AND BE FREE FROM THE BAD HEALTH AND THE PAIN IN THE LEGS AND JUST BE A NORMAL PERSON SITTING IN A NORMAL SIZED CHAIR AND NOT BREAKING IT!

SO THINKING IS BETTER THAN NOT THINKING ABOUT IT, AT LEAST I AM NOW TRYING..

I feel like i have hit bottom

this is my nephew sean and his cover for his book that is coming out soon..go buy it this will help you so much..i hope it helps me..he lost 275 pounds in 26 months if you didnt already know that..the name of his book is Transformation Road the journey back from 505 pounds..
I know i havent been good about keeping up with this blog, in fact i really thought i was just going to let it go.i am so busy these days going to school and work and taking care of mom and trying to get my photography off the ground, that i have no time for myself. i know thats a really long sentence and probably not structured well but tonight i dont care, i am just writing.

i just feel like i have hit the bottom and no where to go. my nephew sean is coming out with his book which is exciting and i am very happy that he was able to get his weight off and i know i can do this..but i just dont feel like i can..does that even make sense?

i have gained back all the weight i had previously lost plus the weight i had already lost before that..so now i am actually close to the highest weight i have been..my weight is now 341..i lost a few pounds being really sick..i wouldnt advise it..lol

i am just so tired of being tired and sick and not being able to fit into chairs because people at the schools and at jobs dont realize that maybe we have bigger people than just what fits those little chairs..i have had to deal with this for 8 years now and i am really tired of it..

i just want to feel good again..i dont want to die early..i am only 43 and even though i dont have my own family i do still have my brother and sisters and my mom is still here..there should be so many reasons to want to live and get this weight off, why cant i feel like its the most important thing and just do it..

i had a really bad day today, and even though it was really bad i do remember not thinking about the food..that wasnt on my mind, now pop is another story..i think i am more of a pop drinker than a food addict to be truthful i can drink pop like its water..i have been trying to drink my water more the last few days..maybe by doing this i will get myself back into control..i sure hope so..i have to do something..
cause as sean says choose change before change chooses you, and it will be choosing me and it wont be good unless i do something now..

its one day at a time

the pretty birds from early this morning..

i have been doing good today..i have already got 60 ounces of water down me and i didnt even look at the pop..we have diet pop in the fridge but any pop is bad for me now..so i woke up drinking water..and i am going to bed drinking water..i went and weighed today..well it wasnt bad...at least not as bad as i thought it would be..

i weighed 330 pounds..so thats my start again.330 i seem to like to start at that number ..i dont know why but i do..lol but at least its not 350 like i thought it would be..i really feel that big and i know i look that big..i hate the way i look these days..i was becoming smaller looking and even kinda pretty when i was down to 296..and then something happened and i lost it..now its hard to walk a mile and i was walking 3 miles..but i am doing it..i cant keep whining about what was and just do it..

my journey seems to be taking longer than i wanted but i guess that is up to me..if i really wanted to get it off i would have kept going and not stopped..so now i am taking it one day at a time..thats all i can do..i am going to have weak days and i am going to have strong nothing will get in my way days...i only hope i have more strong ones than weak ones..

today was a day where it could have gone bad, if i had let it..i went to the medical supply store to get something for my mom and there was a jar of candy bars sitting right on the couter ..only .25 cents for each one ..and i had a dollar right in my hand..oh my my favorite chocolate..but i decided it wasnt a smart choice..right now for me i dont need to be eating the candy bars even though i will not just quit all together..this is the beginning i dont need to be tempted..

so i walked out without the chocolate..and i was proud of myself..i made it thru..i ate a salad and had a grilled chicken go wrap and had ice water..i love ice water..that is the best kind to have..i could have gotten coke but i said no i dont need the extra calories..i mean look at how many calories are in pop...150 to 8 ounces of pop..how awful and if we super size it or we make it a 32 ounce because its cheaper, were only hurting ourselves..getting that much pop is way too many calories for anyone too have..

i know i will be losing weight just because i am not drinking pop anymore..sometimes i dont care for the water all the time, but it doesnt have any calorie intake and that is something i am watching..i also dont need the sugar whether its sugar or sweetners..i dont need it either..so my day wasnt bad..

i then came home to a storm ..we keep having the storms aroud here now..its tornado season so now we have to stay aware..but the storm held back til i got in at least a half a mile..so i did walk some today..i feel good about this day..and i know that tomorrow is going to be another day and there will be challenges then too..but i feel like i can over come them now just by taking it one day at a time..

have a great night
kelli