the choices we make..

where sean and i grew up..mickey d's....still standing..

i know the choice i make is what i am going to have to live with..i didnt make very good choices today..i was bored at work and the candy bars were sitting in front of me..okay i made the wrong choice..boy did i make the wrong choice..i ate a snickers bar,something i thought would fill me up since i hadnt eatin much today..

so i ate it and i ate other things that were not good too..but the snickers bar made me very sick..i got dizzy and my eyes went blurry and i got sick in the stomach as well..i really think all of a sudden my blood sugar went up because of the chocolate..so now i am going cold turkey off of the chocolate and sugar..i have too..i am so afraid i have full blown diabetes now and its scary to think that..my eyes stayed blurry for a long time and i felt sick for a while...after i ate some actual food ..then my stomach was okay..but my eyes were still bad..

i havent walked tonight either..we were having some bad looking storms and with the way i was feeling i didnt want to go out and walk..

last night i did well..i drank my water and i walked and did a whole mile and a half..i was doing so well and then today for some reason i just got bored, i was at work and we just wasnt busy at the time and the candy bars seemed to be calling my name all day..i am going to have to really ignore that calling..

i am going to do well tomorrow ..i am going to make sure i get my water in and i do my walking and i am going to ignore the candy bars..maybe i will put them somewhere that i cant see right then..that might help..
but i will do better i will make sure i dont eat my 1300 calories in candy bars like i did today..i really didnt do well but i will do better tomorrow ..because tomorrow is another day to do great things and i am going too..

enjoy the night and lets make good choices tomorrow..
kelli

the right focus really pays off..

me and sean the other day..
the other pictures were me and courtney at christmas time in 2008..then me and sean at my pretend 40th brithday party 2 years ago..
60 pounds can really make a difference...

yesterday was a good day..i focused right and i did what i said i was going to do..i ate enough calories that i wasnt hungry and i got in 1300..i drank enough water that i wasnt floating but i wasnt dying of thirst...hehe ..i drank my 64 ounces of water and liked it..i also walked and felt good about it..i walked my mile and a half and now i am feeling the muscles i had before..
its a good thing i walked and am now getting used to it again..cause today i had to go to osu to pay some of my bursar account and i must of walked a half a mile just trying to find my way to the student union with all the construction going on..im trying to get back to school..but right now i am going through a setback of paying my account and when its paid then i can re enroll..that will be nice..i cant wait to be a graduate with my bachelors degree..

but until then i will be putting my focus on myself..getting me healthier..and it will pay off..i went and weighed this morning on my own scales which i did just for fun to see if i could still weigh on them..and it was so exciting..i saw 296..i couldnt believe it..and really i may weigh less than that because i am going through my womanly thing..i really didnt think it would even weigh me...so you can see how excited i was when it did..

but its because i am focusing now..on the right things..i am putting my focus on walking and drinking my water and getting the calories down me..just enough to be okay..i am not overeating and i am not drinking pop..diet or otherwise..and i am not eating the candy bars..i have those candy bars whipped...thats a victory in itself..hehe

but today i am doing it all over again..
i am walking tonight when i get home
i am drinking my water 64 ounces..
i am staying at 1300 calories..no more no less..
i am doing this for me..for my health ..
for me to be here another 20 or 30 years as long as God allows me too..
along with Gods help we are doing this..we are getting our health in order and we must rely on God for the strength to keep doing it..we must or we wont get very far..

i am working all day today and when i get home i know i will be tired..but i am still going to walk..i have to and so i will..
lets do it today..lets live for today and trust God in all we do..we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us...

lets make a focused day..
kelli

well i think being real is definately what we need...

me being brave getting my injections ..boy does it feel good now to walk..i never felt better..

well i had such a better day yesterday..i was honest with myself and i focused on getting the walk in and the right amount of calories down me..and it worked..i wasnt playing games with myself..i think we have to be honest or its just not going to work..

i did drink 32 ounces of water yesterday not the amount i should have but it was half the amount which is better than nothing like the day before...and i kept my calories at 1300 yesterday..i went out and walked last night and did almost a mile and a half.i walked for 30 minutes straight and felt like i was just starting again..but soon i will get used to it again..im going to do a half mile at a time..so in another week i will do 2 miles..just to get used to it again..

i made better choices yesterday and i knew i was doing that..so this is something i have to be completely real with myself everyday and just know whatever choice i make ..its my choice..i can choose to be healthy and make good choices or i can choose to eat whatever i want and make bad choices and die early...its up to me..

i am making good choices today ..i already have my water bottle filled and am drinking my first of 3 bottles of water today..i will be going to work soon and be right there where the candy bars are at and burger king is at..but today i have my focus on the right things and eating the whoppers and the candy bars even though i love them are not going to be part of my focus...i have done pretty good with the candy bars so far..i havent bought any of those..just the peanuts but thats something that is way too salty ..

so today i will drink my water..
today i will eat 1300 calories..
today i will walk a mile and a half..
today i will do my best to stay focused..
today is it..today is what we have ..
today i will make good choices..
how about you?

have a wonderful day..get up and get moving as one of my friends say..and as another friend says..lets keep getting better and better...
loveyou all
kelli

well being honest isnt always easy..

our favorite cowboy and what he says here is a real quote...good to hear..

okay i have to be honest..i always try to be anyway..its just the best way to live..but yesterday was not a good choice day for me..i did it..i made the choice to not go by my calories..i made the unhealthy choice to eat a jr.whopper at burger king..and then because i had already in my mind had blown it..i made the choice to eat more calories and end up with 2000 calories yesterday..i made that choice and no one else is going to take the blame but me..i will see it on my hips and i will feel it ..

but the best part is i have today to do well..now yesterday i didnt drink water but i didnt drink pop either..i didnt drink much of anything...i had 1 bottle of tea all day..i didnt walk either..so you see i made the choice to not do anything good...im not sure why really..but i did it anyway..

so then after i got off of work i had my ice cream cone..and then another taco..i felt bad all day and night but it didnt stop me from actually doing it..so now i have today to do better..even if its my day off ..i can at least walk tonight and drink some water..i mean really do i want to keep doing this to myself and gain all my weight back that i have lost ...NO i dont..i dont want to see 300 much less 356..i dont even want to see 299..so i wont..i will do better today..today is all i have..

i will drink my water today..
i will walk tonight..at some point..hehe
i will focus on keeping my calories intact..

i have to be honest with myself..i have to do this and focus..i wasnt stressed yesterday..i wasnt even that bored..i was actually getting busy for once at the stand..i started out okay and then when i went to burger king to use the restroom ..i took some money with me and made a bad choice..the thing is i knew what i did and after i did it i did it again..my mentality was going back to the way i used to think..apparently i havent fully gone away from it..but now i am aware of it more and thats important..so now i will do the things i need to do to be healthy..i will become more focused and stay that way..i have too..i want to be here for many more years if the Lord will allow it..

so what i am doing today..is not what i did yesterday..today is the day we are given..i am going to do my best to live it..how about you?

enjoy the day..
kelli

this is an update for this morning...

this is my prince charming..hehe i thought it was cute..

i made it through the day..i did just what i said i was going to do and boy was it hard...i had the candy bars staring at me all day..it was awful.but i made it...i walked my mile tonight after i got home from work..i used my walking poles and that was interesting..fun and a workout but it felt like i was skiing...hehe

i ended up with 1350 in calories so i guess thats not too bad..considering i could have been alot worse..then i stayed completely away from the pop today..i did well with that..no diet pop at all..and i drank water all day..i am still drinking my water now..i will end up with the 64 ounces by the time i go to bed..and no candy bars...yea! no candy bars...i couldnt believe it myself..we have so many yummy candy bars that its just not fair to temp me like this..but its my job..

tomorrow will be another day and another attempt at staying on track..i did well today and tomorrow i will do it again..

have a good night..
keep it one day at a time..
kelli

its more fun 10 pounds at a time..

this is me yesterday in front of our original snocone stand ..we had to move it off the lot yesterday and we had been there for 18 years..it was a sad day..

i got up today and just wanted to see what i weighed and if i could weigh on my scales at home now ..and i can..whoohoo! i am down to 298..i lost another pound since monday and i havent even been eating the right foods either..thats why i was so surprised that i had lost..i am so glad though..this is more fun looking at small goals than the big picture all at once..so now i am 8 pounds from my goal of 290..i hadnt been 290 since i was 30..i remember weighing 290 then, because i was over at a friends house at least i thought he was a friend...not sure anymore.but he asked me what i weighed..i thought wow how rude..here he was a very healthy thin guy and supposed to be a nice guy and asking me how much i weighed..and of course i had the biggest crush on him and so i told him..i said well i weigh 290 how much do you weigh...he said 190..oh my you are 100 pounds more than me..i didnt think too much of it then but now he was just being rude like he was anyway..

i dont have a crush on him now..hehe in fact i have no idea where he is at now..but he was always trying to get me off the pop..i think he would be happy that i am off..but lately i have been drinking some diet pop and i need to stop it..i noticed myself the other day and i had drank 72 ounces of diet pop...thats bad..i didnt drink any water either..and thats NOT a good thing..but today is a different day..its a day where i can begin again and do well for myself..i have all day to drink my water instead of the pop..i have all day to make the right choices instead of eating what comes in front of me..its my choice to live healthy or to die early...my choice..God gives me the choice now i have to make the right one and give it to God to help me..
i am going to work in an hour to work til 10 tonight and i will walk when i get home..my friend glen bought me some walking poles last night and so i am going to try them out tonight..they say they help burn 45% more calories than just walking..so i will let you know how it works..i need to start again on my shake weight..it has been just sitting here in the living room collecting dust for the past month..but i am going to use it now..i am going to get fit and stop talking about it so much..i wanna get it off but i have to put the effort out there to do it..so now i am doing it..

i will keep at 1300 calories
i will drink 64 ounces of water today.
i will walk at least 1 mile..
i will stay off the pop..
and i will stay away from the candy bars..
we are selling candy bars at our stand now and i am staring at them all day and they happen to be my favorite, so you can see how tempting it is..but i will not get one today..
this is my pledge for today..

hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the journey..
kelli

well after 5 weeks i started again..

well this is me and oreo going out for a walk..yesterday oreo bit me and now he thinks he is my friend..he is some cat..but he did walk tonight..

well its been 5 weeks since i went out and walked 2 and a half miles ...and then i had a setback and couldnt walk...now i can and finally did tonight..i finally got myself out there and walked for 20 minutes...it felt like forever tonight.just like starting over..my hips hurt and i was short of breath..i know i felt better when i was walking everyday..i have to keep going..i dont like this going backwards..

i still dont feel like i did well today..we sell candy at the snocone stand and i was working at that one and needed something to eat..well it was peanuts but i still dont feel good eating something like this ..maybe thats good that i am thinking about it now.maybe its a slow process for me ..that i have to keep focusing and learning what i need and what i dont need..i do need to have food every 2-3 hours but i dont need junk food..i feel like thats what it was..

i ended up having the go wraps at wendys and thats not bad..but then i had ice cream tonight..calories i really didnt need..but i had them anyway..i guess its a good thing if i am feeling guilty for having junk..hehe i didnt drink my water today either and i feel bad about that too..but i will get some down tonight..i havent gained any weight which is good but i have gone through 5 weeks of setbacks and not losing anything..

now iam back to getting it done..i am going to walk every night as long as i can walk..it does feel good..my pedometer broke today and i was so used to looking at it to know the miles and the calories..i really liked it but i guess i will just have to get along with just a stopwatch to know how many minutes i walk..i feel good for the walking though..i did something and i got started again..i didnt give up completely..i dont want to do that..it wouldnt be the right thing to do..give up...God doesnt give up on us, so i shouldnt give up on myself...

so now i am going after the 9 pounds by the end of september..and i will get there..
enjoy the evening..
kelli