this is my life

my name is kelli and iam 42 in a few days and i have pretty much been heavy my whole life..i wasnt so much as a teenager..even though i was 150 pounds all through high school, and thats really not real slim..but i didnt really have a weight problem..due to the fact i had what they call pinworms..i had these things in me for 11 years..i was miserable, and they were destroying my insides..i got them when i was 3 and didnt get rid of them til i was 14..one little pill and i was done.. i couldnt believe it..all the pain i went through and it took one pill..well the little things were eating half of everything i ate..so yes i stayed slim sometimes i wish i had them again..hehe NOT..hehe but it would be nice to have half the calories..oh yeah thats what iam doing for myself..

well after i got rid of these things, i gained 30 pounds in 30 days..wow what a change..i just couldnt believe it..so i went on a dexatrim diet and i lost 30 pounds in 30 days..i never ate..dont try it! i was becoming sick and had to go to the doctor..he told me i was going to eat or go on an iv..ewwww i didnt want an iv..so i ate and i ate and i ate..i tried really hard to stay 150 through high school and i did most of the time..but after i left for california and was there by myself..i got homesick and i ate what i could..i worked at a yogurt shop like the really good fattening yogurt..lol and i ate that for my dinner..a whole quart..my agent told me to lose thirty pounds and i ended up gaining thirtyfive pounds before i came home..when i did come back i was 185 pounds and from there i just kept going..

i never dated or really had a boyfriend til recently when i was introduced to a sweet man who is now my best friend and was my fiance at one time..we get along great now..i guess gaining all the weight just made me kinda hide in myself..i have always wanted to be married and a mother, but was too scared to go meet people and really date..i have had lots of friends who were guys..but none really looked at me in the way i wanted them too..but maybe i was doing this to myself..i was holding myself back because i was too scared to see what life had to offer..

so i stayed heavy my entire life and i always said if he doesnt like my personality then he isnt worth liking..well that is true but before we get to the part of him liking my personality, we have to get to the part of him being attracted to me to ask me out..so here it goes..iam doing this for the rest of my life..i will and do have ups and downs but i am willing to change my lifestyle and make a difference in what i look like and feel like for the remainder of my life...i will exercise and eat right, and drink lots of water..wow did i just say lots of water..i never liked water before but i do now..i will go from 356 which is my highest weight down to 130 pounds and hopefully stay there and start taking control of what is left of me..

this is my life and iam going to live it the way God wants me to..healthy and free..
this is me..i hope you can do the same..just watch your calories and drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise..and you will see a difference..not just in your weight, but in your life...in how you feel about everything..i wish you luck and me too..seeya around the track..kelli