Tuesday, August 31, 2010

the right focus really pays off..

me and sean the other day..
the other pictures were me and courtney at christmas time in 2008..then me and sean at my pretend 40th brithday party 2 years ago..
60 pounds can really make a difference...

yesterday was a good day..i focused right and i did what i said i was going to do..i ate enough calories that i wasnt hungry and i got in 1300..i drank enough water that i wasnt floating but i wasnt dying of thirst...hehe ..i drank my 64 ounces of water and liked it..i also walked and felt good about it..i walked my mile and a half and now i am feeling the muscles i had before..
its a good thing i walked and am now getting used to it again..cause today i had to go to osu to pay some of my bursar account and i must of walked a half a mile just trying to find my way to the student union with all the construction going on..im trying to get back to school..but right now i am going through a setback of paying my account and when its paid then i can re enroll..that will be nice..i cant wait to be a graduate with my bachelors degree..

but until then i will be putting my focus on myself..getting me healthier..and it will pay off..i went and weighed this morning on my own scales which i did just for fun to see if i could still weigh on them..and it was so exciting..i saw 296..i couldnt believe it..and really i may weigh less than that because i am going through my womanly thing..i really didnt think it would even weigh me...so you can see how excited i was when it did..

but its because i am focusing now..on the right things..i am putting my focus on walking and drinking my water and getting the calories down me..just enough to be okay..i am not overeating and i am not drinking pop..diet or otherwise..and i am not eating the candy bars..i have those candy bars whipped...thats a victory in itself..hehe

but today i am doing it all over again..
i am walking tonight when i get home
i am drinking my water 64 ounces..
i am staying at 1300 calories..no more no less..
i am doing this for me..for my health ..
for me to be here another 20 or 30 years as long as God allows me too..
along with Gods help we are doing this..we are getting our health in order and we must rely on God for the strength to keep doing it..we must or we wont get very far..

i am working all day today and when i get home i know i will be tired..but i am still going to walk..i have to and so i will..
lets do it today..lets live for today and trust God in all we do..we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us...

lets make a focused day..

Monday, August 30, 2010

well i think being real is definately what we need...

me being brave getting my injections ..boy does it feel good now to walk..i never felt better..

well i had such a better day yesterday..i was honest with myself and i focused on getting the walk in and the right amount of calories down me..and it worked..i wasnt playing games with myself..i think we have to be honest or its just not going to work..

i did drink 32 ounces of water yesterday not the amount i should have but it was half the amount which is better than nothing like the day before...and i kept my calories at 1300 yesterday..i went out and walked last night and did almost a mile and a half.i walked for 30 minutes straight and felt like i was just starting again..but soon i will get used to it again..im going to do a half mile at a time..so in another week i will do 2 miles..just to get used to it again..

i made better choices yesterday and i knew i was doing that..so this is something i have to be completely real with myself everyday and just know whatever choice i make ..its my choice..i can choose to be healthy and make good choices or i can choose to eat whatever i want and make bad choices and die early...its up to me..

i am making good choices today ..i already have my water bottle filled and am drinking my first of 3 bottles of water today..i will be going to work soon and be right there where the candy bars are at and burger king is at..but today i have my focus on the right things and eating the whoppers and the candy bars even though i love them are not going to be part of my focus...i have done pretty good with the candy bars so far..i havent bought any of those..just the peanuts but thats something that is way too salty ..

so today i will drink my water..
today i will eat 1300 calories..
today i will walk a mile and a half..
today i will do my best to stay focused..
today is it..today is what we have ..
today i will make good choices..
how about you?

have a wonderful day..get up and get moving as one of my friends say..and as another friend says..lets keep getting better and better...
loveyou all

Sunday, August 29, 2010

well being honest isnt always easy..

our favorite cowboy and what he says here is a real quote...good to hear..

okay i have to be honest..i always try to be anyway..its just the best way to live..but yesterday was not a good choice day for me..i did it..i made the choice to not go by my calories..i made the unhealthy choice to eat a jr.whopper at burger king..and then because i had already in my mind had blown it..i made the choice to eat more calories and end up with 2000 calories yesterday..i made that choice and no one else is going to take the blame but me..i will see it on my hips and i will feel it ..

but the best part is i have today to do well..now yesterday i didnt drink water but i didnt drink pop either..i didnt drink much of anything...i had 1 bottle of tea all day..i didnt walk either..so you see i made the choice to not do anything good...im not sure why really..but i did it anyway..

so then after i got off of work i had my ice cream cone..and then another taco..i felt bad all day and night but it didnt stop me from actually doing it..so now i have today to do better..even if its my day off ..i can at least walk tonight and drink some water..i mean really do i want to keep doing this to myself and gain all my weight back that i have lost ...NO i dont..i dont want to see 300 much less 356..i dont even want to see 299..so i wont..i will do better today..today is all i have..

i will drink my water today..
i will walk tonight..at some point..hehe
i will focus on keeping my calories intact..

i have to be honest with myself..i have to do this and focus..i wasnt stressed yesterday..i wasnt even that bored..i was actually getting busy for once at the stand..i started out okay and then when i went to burger king to use the restroom ..i took some money with me and made a bad choice..the thing is i knew what i did and after i did it i did it again..my mentality was going back to the way i used to think..apparently i havent fully gone away from it..but now i am aware of it more and thats important..so now i will do the things i need to do to be healthy..i will become more focused and stay that way..i have too..i want to be here for many more years if the Lord will allow it..

so what i am doing today..is not what i did yesterday..today is the day we are given..i am going to do my best to live it..how about you?

enjoy the day..

Friday, August 27, 2010

this is an update for this morning...

this is my prince charming..hehe i thought it was cute..

i made it through the day..i did just what i said i was going to do and boy was it hard...i had the candy bars staring at me all day..it was awful.but i made it...i walked my mile tonight after i got home from work..i used my walking poles and that was interesting..fun and a workout but it felt like i was skiing...hehe

i ended up with 1350 in calories so i guess thats not too bad..considering i could have been alot worse..then i stayed completely away from the pop today..i did well with that..no diet pop at all..and i drank water all day..i am still drinking my water now..i will end up with the 64 ounces by the time i go to bed..and no candy bars...yea! no candy bars...i couldnt believe it myself..we have so many yummy candy bars that its just not fair to temp me like this..but its my job..

tomorrow will be another day and another attempt at staying on track..i did well today and tomorrow i will do it again..

have a good night..
keep it one day at a time..

its more fun 10 pounds at a time..

this is me yesterday in front of our original snocone stand ..we had to move it off the lot yesterday and we had been there for 18 years..it was a sad day..

i got up today and just wanted to see what i weighed and if i could weigh on my scales at home now ..and i can..whoohoo! i am down to 298..i lost another pound since monday and i havent even been eating the right foods either..thats why i was so surprised that i had lost..i am so glad though..this is more fun looking at small goals than the big picture all at once..so now i am 8 pounds from my goal of 290..i hadnt been 290 since i was 30..i remember weighing 290 then, because i was over at a friends house at least i thought he was a friend...not sure anymore.but he asked me what i weighed..i thought wow how rude..here he was a very healthy thin guy and supposed to be a nice guy and asking me how much i weighed..and of course i had the biggest crush on him and so i told him..i said well i weigh 290 how much do you weigh...he said 190..oh my you are 100 pounds more than me..i didnt think too much of it then but now he was just being rude like he was anyway..

i dont have a crush on him now..hehe in fact i have no idea where he is at now..but he was always trying to get me off the pop..i think he would be happy that i am off..but lately i have been drinking some diet pop and i need to stop it..i noticed myself the other day and i had drank 72 ounces of diet pop...thats bad..i didnt drink any water either..and thats NOT a good thing..but today is a different day..its a day where i can begin again and do well for myself..i have all day to drink my water instead of the pop..i have all day to make the right choices instead of eating what comes in front of me..its my choice to live healthy or to die early...my choice..God gives me the choice now i have to make the right one and give it to God to help me..
i am going to work in an hour to work til 10 tonight and i will walk when i get home..my friend glen bought me some walking poles last night and so i am going to try them out tonight..they say they help burn 45% more calories than just walking..so i will let you know how it works..i need to start again on my shake weight..it has been just sitting here in the living room collecting dust for the past month..but i am going to use it now..i am going to get fit and stop talking about it so much..i wanna get it off but i have to put the effort out there to do it..so now i am doing it..

i will keep at 1300 calories
i will drink 64 ounces of water today.
i will walk at least 1 mile..
i will stay off the pop..
and i will stay away from the candy bars..
we are selling candy bars at our stand now and i am staring at them all day and they happen to be my favorite, so you can see how tempting it is..but i will not get one today..
this is my pledge for today..

hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the journey..

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

well after 5 weeks i started again..

well this is me and oreo going out for a walk..yesterday oreo bit me and now he thinks he is my friend..he is some cat..but he did walk tonight..

well its been 5 weeks since i went out and walked 2 and a half miles ...and then i had a setback and couldnt walk...now i can and finally did tonight..i finally got myself out there and walked for 20 minutes...it felt like forever tonight.just like starting over..my hips hurt and i was short of breath..i know i felt better when i was walking everyday..i have to keep going..i dont like this going backwards..

i still dont feel like i did well today..we sell candy at the snocone stand and i was working at that one and needed something to eat..well it was peanuts but i still dont feel good eating something like this ..maybe thats good that i am thinking about it now.maybe its a slow process for me ..that i have to keep focusing and learning what i need and what i dont need..i do need to have food every 2-3 hours but i dont need junk food..i feel like thats what it was..

i ended up having the go wraps at wendys and thats not bad..but then i had ice cream tonight..calories i really didnt need..but i had them anyway..i guess its a good thing if i am feeling guilty for having junk..hehe i didnt drink my water today either and i feel bad about that too..but i will get some down tonight..i havent gained any weight which is good but i have gone through 5 weeks of setbacks and not losing anything..

now iam back to getting it done..i am going to walk every night as long as i can walk..it does feel good..my pedometer broke today and i was so used to looking at it to know the miles and the calories..i really liked it but i guess i will just have to get along with just a stopwatch to know how many minutes i walk..i feel good for the walking though..i did something and i got started again..i didnt give up completely..i dont want to do that..it wouldnt be the right thing to do..give up...God doesnt give up on us, so i shouldnt give up on myself...

so now i am going after the 9 pounds by the end of september..and i will get there..
enjoy the evening..

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

migraines are not fun!

these are some pictures of today..me and my friend kaitlynn came and saw me yesterday..and the women on the hoverounds ..i thought was so cute..it was raining but they just got out anyway..
the pictures are of the lake and the sunset..very pretty tonight..

this has been a couple of days of pain..iam still going through the pain and it just doesnt want to go away anytime soon..this has been a day where i thought i would be watching everything, but i just didnt..i just didnt feel like watching my calories or drinking my water..and i know i should but i am in so much pain i dont feel like anything right now..

this has been a rainy cool day and everyone really likes this weather ..i love this weather but it hurts my headache too..it makes me feel so fuzzy anymore..i wanted to go out and walk and maybe i will..i dont know..my dizzyness doesnt make for a good time walking..we still dont know how my cousin is ..i guess no good news is bad news..so were just waiting..

i went to work today and didnt have hardly any people...just a cold fall day..you can tell school is going and fall is in the air..we went around the lake tonight looking for the ducks and geese but i think they already flew south for the winter..hehe

i saw all kinds of people running and walking around the lake.its a really nice evening to be able to walk around the lake..i have been wanting too but i always seem to have a setback with it..i know i am going to sometime..but probably not this week..i am wanting to lose 9 pounds by the end of september..that will put me at 290..i havent seen that in quite a while..i just feel funny today..i guess its my headaches...im just fuzzy tonight..so if what i say doesnt make any sense its my head..hehe

its really something to see my nephew now..the way he looks and the way he used to look..i know i can do this..i just have to keep going and keep wanting to do it..somedays are easy and some days are hard...this is one day thats just too hard for me..i think about that and then i think about my cousin and there is nothing too hard then ..if my cousin can get through this then i can lose this weight..she still cant feel anything but she has a good attitude about it..she is a strong survivor..and she will pull through this..

i think this is a night where i should be laying down..my head is just too fuzzy right now.
i didnt do well with anything today..i will do well tomorrow ..i will walk tomorrow and i will drink my water all day..i will also watch my calorie intake ..i will do this..i will lose the 9 pounds by september 30th and i will keep going everyday to do my best..everyday i will focus on how i am going to do my best job and put my best foot forward to be the best i can be and help others do their best..we all have to get that focus..we all have got to focus on living our best days..and be the best people we can be ..were here to help one another..were here to focus on being the best we can be..we have too..we might as well .we dont have any other choice..

lets keep our focus on the best life ever..

Sunday, August 22, 2010

well i am back again..

this is such a cute picture..hehe and here is my cousin elizabeth who is in the hospital she is the younger one..this was the last few days before she was in the accident..
and here iam with my new haircut and my new phone..a samgsung vibrant..pretty cool..

this has been a week of not feeling good physically and emotionally..i know i havent blogged since wednesday and thats not a good thing..i think when i get to the point of not blogging then i start going back to my old ways and i dont want to do that..writing it all down is a bery necessary thing and i have to be honest or its just not going to work..

i am still trying to focus on it..i will be honest though and tellya i havent walked yet and i need too..i need to get back to the focus i had before i went into so much pain.i need to go walk today whether it is too hot or not.this is not going to come off without me doing it..it didnt come on without me and it wont come off without me..i have to do this..

i have been getting tired lately and just not feeling good about my life and just about everything..but i am coming around now..so hopefully i will be getting back to normal again..i really want to get this weight off and get it off now and not 10 years from now..because i may not make it to 10 years..

im sitting here right now watching spongebob and wishing i had no worries like he does..it sure would be nice if life was handed to us on a silver platter but its not..we go through problems everyday of our life and its how we handle them that make us the people we are..i am trying to become a better christian and rely on God and soley on God..He is the one who will make us the people we need to be..

i have had alot of friends lately tell me how inspiring i am to them and how i shouldnt stop blogging..i am very appreciative for them..God always knows when to send people my way..i do need this as a way of being honest and expressing my feelings..and if it helps others to do what they have to do then thats just icing on the cake...haha..

i am trying to look for a job and that is stressful in itself..this is not the best time to be looking for jobs around here..but i know i will find one soon..i am sure glad i can walk now..cause it wouldnt be very good trying to find a job and not being able to walk..but i am going try and walk this evening..i really need it..i have been drinking some water..not all 64 ounces but half of it everyday..and i know i need to work on this but i am doing okay..i have been eating my 1200 calories and trying to not go over the 1500 but i do think one day i went over it....thats why i need to write it down so i will know..

i got a new phone yesterday and have had the most fun playing with it..its pretty cool but i need to remember it is just a phone..and not go too crazy over it..hehe i cut my hair the other night too..i was getting tired of it not looking right with the last haircut i gave myself and so i cut it short and i like it..its pretty cool..

the other day my cousin had a swimming accident and broke her neck and was left paralyzed from the waist down..so we have been going through a lot lately...she is conscious now and is moving her feet so things are getting better for her..she still needs prayers..she is having neck surgery on monday and needs all the prayers she can get..

well this has been a week of different feelings and just life..i guess i need to get used to life and keep going..we are always going to be going through something..
im going to try and make this a great day..

i hope you all enjoy your day..

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

i am walking and it feels so good

see me getting the injections..i really was getting them then.and then look at my smile..feeling good now..

wow i never realized what it was like to not have your legs til now..it sure feels good to be able to walk...i have been walking all day and trying not to use my cane..boy when i got the injections ..that hurt..ooohhh that hurt..they put it right into my bones and i could certainly feel it..but it has been a few hours and now i am walking like i had before..what fun it is going to be when i get to walk tomorrow night..i ended up coming home too late tonight to go walking..i didnt want to hurry it too much either..

but it sure feels good..i had taken it for granted all this time that i would be able to walk and now since i had lost it for like a month i know what people go thru that cant walk..i was almost in a wheelchair..it almost happened and i am so glad it didnt..i am done well today with the calories ..i had 1300 calories altogether and am ready for bed now..i have tried to drink my water but it was a hard thing for me to do today..i have been a sounding board for so many of my friends lately..i enjoy listening to people and i try to help as much as i can..i guess thats why i picked psychology as my major...someday i will get that degree..hehe right now i am looking for a full time job so i can pay my college account and get back in school..3 more semesters and i will be done..

but this has been a good day for me..at least health wise now..and thats important..i am trying to watch the calories and the carbs so iam being cautious of everything i put in my mouth now..tomorrow night i am going to be walking and try to get my mile in again..i have been sore tonight..so tomorrow will be better..

hope you all enjoy the night..

i got my injections..yay!

here is the place i go to get my injections..and look i was watching her put it in my knees..ouch! but now i feel good..see the smile..
have a great day everyone..i am..

i went to the ortho doctor today and got my injections ...wow does it hurt when they put that needle in your knees..but boy does it feel good afterward..i can walk..i can walk and i am so happy...never again will i leave it to 5 months..4 months gets here and i am going ..hehe i just wanted to let you all know..i will post another blog tonight..here iam getting my injections..hehe i take pictures of everything..hehe

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

a good day and just getting better..

okay we got the food i ate and the lake and sean and kenlie..

this has been a good day.it seems to always be a good day as long as i look at it like that..i think no matter how our day goes..as long as we take it with a smile the day will be okay..i am trying my best to focus all the time on eating healthy..sometimes its hard to do..and sometimes its as easy as it was today..

well today we went to the stockade ..of course my sister could go to these places everyday if we had the money to do it..but today we went because it was a senior special for lunch..not for me but my sister and mom got a good deal..so i went to the buffet and did GOOD..yay! i went to the fruit first and then i went and got my main plate..but i looked at the salad and got half my plate in salad without dressing..then i got a roasted chicken and green beans..nothing else..oh well yes i got a roll but when i counted it it was 700 calories with the fruit and all the salad and roll..IT WAS GOOD...!!

i went and got a bite of the ice cream they have.not really ice cream..its not even yogurt..not even close..but i got a bite and they had the biggest cake with chocolate icing i had ever seen.did i get any? NO WAY!

i am drinking my water right now and when we came home tonight, well sean and kenlie surprised us with a visit..that was fun..we think they are such a cute couple..i am going to get my water in tonight and i may not do the walking tonight..my leg has been really bad today..i cant wait til tomorrow afternoon..what fun being able to walk again..
i am going to post the diabetes info a little later..right now i am going to see my friend at work..so i wont be home for a couple of hours..
but here are some pictures from today..it has been a good day..and still is..

hope your day is going good..

Monday, August 16, 2010

i made a whole mile on the ramp in 29 minutes...whoohoo

we got our ducks in a row..do you?

well i was able to make it for 29 minutes and do a whole mile..just 9 minutes off of my reg.time..i was so excited..my muscles were feeling it too..by the time i got done i was feeling the pain..but it was good pain this time..i have been able to walk a little better today ..and hopefully tomorrow i will be able to walk even better..wednesday is coming soon too and by the weekend i am going to be walking boomer lake..i just know i will..

last night i finally got my water down..i drank 60 ounces of water last night at my friends house..i went out there and saw him and his mom and visited with them all evening..it was fun and the topic of conversation all evening was about healthy eating..something we end up talking about alot these days..

He was making his own salad dressing last night so he could have a low calorie one he likes and one that he knows what is in it.so i wrote down the recipes and he said i could share them with you all...so i will have them at the end of this..

i ended up with my 1200 calories last night and did well..

so we come to today..this was a good day..and i am getting my water down me now as i write..were sitting here watching andy griffith show and enjoying a cooler evening..i worked tonight and then came home and decided i needed to do something..i always enjoyed the walking and i was starting to feel myself going thru the pain i was going thru before i had started walking..i needed the exercise even if i couldnt walk really well..i needed to do it..we all need too..we need to get up and get going..get moving and keep moving..it does make us feel better even if we dont feel our best..

so i walked and did it in 29 minutes..yay! i have eaten 960 calories today and will probably have a little more before bed..i am trying to stay away from bad carbs..i ate a fresh salad today and had yogurt this morning with sugar free pudding in it..it was so GOOD...

here is the salad dressing i wrote down last night..it doesnt take but a few minutes to make and it doesnt have hardly any calories in it..
the first one is SPICY TOMATO DRESSING...

1 can of 8 oz. canned tomato sauce
1/2 teaspoon of garlic salt
1/2 cup of white vineager
1 teaspoon of dillweed..spice
1/4 teaspoon tabasco sauce
2 tablespoons of grated onion
3 pkts of sugar substitute

place all ingredients in a small bowl and beat with a wire whip to blend. refridgerate until needed and bring it back to room temp..before you serve it..and shake it well before using ..2 tablespoons per serving..it is 29 calories per serving and makes 1 1/2 cups to 12 servings..it is very good..

i had a picture of it but i cant seem to get my camera to upload it..but this is a very good one..i have another one but i will put it on the blog tomorrow if you all like it..
and i have some information on how you can tell if you are diabetic..its from a diabetic doctor and i will share it with you tomorrow..i know from reading this ..it looks like iam prediabetic..and i was told that a few years ago..so i really do need to look at the carbs..and the calories..

hope you all enjoy the journey..
tomorrow i am going to the dentist..joy joy..hehe
have a good night..

Sunday, August 15, 2010

i tried walking today!

me and my friend lisa ..she came by the stand the other day and surprised me..i was so glad to see her..

here iam walking up and down my ramp..i went out and walked for 21 minutes today and when i looked at my counter it said i had walked 8/10 of a 10th..not much but it felt like alot to me..my legs are in so much pain now that this is the only walking i can do..i wasnt sure i could do that..but i needed to do something..

i got up today and am in so much pain with the legs that i ended up not going to church..i just cant walk..i sure wish next wed. would hurry up ..i will not take walking for granted ..it is a pleasure and a privalage to be able to walk..i never thought about it til i lost it..i think we are like this at one time or another with something..we take our health for granted and then when we lose it ..thats when we think about it and wish we had it to do over again..

well i am doing that now..i am doing it over and getting my health back..God has given us a second chance and a second chance is all we need..we need our good health to be able to run with the kids..to be able to walk outside..to be able to feel good when we get up in the morning..we have to do this ..and we have to do this now..

i want to look good too just like everyone else .but i really want to feel good ..thats what i want..i havent forgotten whats it like to be able to walk a mile in 20 minutes and thats what i want again..i dont want to be walking so slow that a baby crawling can beat me..thats how i was walking today..hehe not fast..

i have done okay today..i had the plain yogurt with the cinnimon and banana in it..and then i had 3 bite size cookies which were 70 calories for all three..and then 2 slices of turkey and a slice of cheese...i ended up with 380 calories so far..i know i will be eating more this evening ..i am trying to watch the carbs as well as te calories..i think we have to watch it all in order to eat healthy..

i havent gotten started with the water yet but i will..i know i need the water down me everyday..its a given..i have been doing good about not having the ice cream or yogurt and i am focusing alot on staying away from that..its hard but iam trying..

i am glad i did walk for 20 minutes.i think anything will help right now..this is a setback but i am going to make it a positive setback..life happens and as long as we take it with a smile then everything will be okay..

i still cant wait til next wed..its going to feel like christmas all over again..!

enjoy your sunday..

Saturday, August 14, 2010

well today i changed my breakfast around..

Today has been good so far..I know its still early..but I'm here at work and will be til 8 tonight..so today is a good day..
I went to see my friend glen last night and was barely able to walk without the cane but I did make it in without it..iam trying to walk without it because I know God is healing me..and I don't want to put doubt in it..but as I was talking to glen ..he had told me he had lost 19 pounds now..whoohoo iam so proud of him for that..
He is reading this book called the 30 day diabetic cure diet..and he has diabetis and iam prediabetic..so this is just
Telling us how to eat healthy and stay away from sugars that are bad..diabetics can't have fast carbs .only slow ones..

This is going to really be a change in eating for us both..but I am going to do it with him and m sister is going to give it a try as well..she is diabetic and we all three need to watch the carbs..my brother now is going to stop eating so late at night too and see how much he loses..so we are all going to try and give it a good effort to become healthier..we have beenworking at it some. But its just not working for us.I have been blogging for 5 months now and haven't lost what I should..I'm trying but sometimes I guess I'm not trying hard enough..so as soon as we read this book and study it to see how to do it..then we will start it..

But I did change my breakfast around today and I liked it..instead of having a special k bar for breakfast I had plain
Yogurt and mixed in cimmonen and a sweetner and it was good..I even put half of a banana in it and boy did it tastes good..I could eat this..and only 200 calories with a full banana..so then I did have half a bar with it but I wouldn't have had too..so 290 calories so far..and I brought a banana and some sugar free chocolate pudding with me and will get a side salad in an hour or so..so today is good so far..I'm drinking my water in the 110 degree heat and I'm thinking more healthy now..and I like that..

im updating the blog now..its 11pm and i have ended my day with 1330 in calories..i had 3 tacos from taco bueno which was 200 each..and i had a strawberry smoothie which i will not have again..that is pure sugar..so many carbs in it..but it is 350 calories so i had my share for the night..goodnight all

I hope you all think healthy today..
Enjoy the day..

Friday, August 13, 2010

friday the 13th..where did you come from...hehe

Yep this is Friday the 13th...not my favorite day...but I'm not really superstious either..but today was not the best Friday I could have..I got up to a phone call from my orthodoctor..telling me they had made a mistake in booking me for the injections and I couldn't come in til next Wednesday..next Wednesday..really ? I have to wait 5 more days because these people made a mistake and didn't notice it til now..

So my day was not starting out like I wanted it too..I was so hoping I could get my injections and be walking by now..I was going to go walking tonight..well I might try it anyway..even with the cane..so I went back to sleep and when I got up I was getting ready for work today.. I had a protein bar and have had a cheeseburger today..I know its not all iam going to have because its too early and I've only had 600 calories..so I need to eat something..I left the sherbert alone today and am not eating sweets which I'm glad of..iam really trying to leave it alone..I know the protein bar probably is a sweet..but its also proein..so I got to work and had to put up the balloons outside and walking for me right now is not an easy task..so I got them up..but the wind keeps popping them or taking them off the string..so I have been out there twice now to put more on the string..this is just not the best Friday..but I am being taken care of by God..I know that..I have been able to walk some today without the cane and that's a miricle..I walked over to the next building to use the restroom and I walked without the cane and was able to do it..so yes it has been a Friday the 13th..but it has also been a very blessed day for me..I know God is taking care of me..I know that..I've prayed and my friends and family have prayed and I know He is listening..so maybe its not such a bad day afterall..

Have a great Friday the 13th..
I am

Thursday, August 12, 2010

okay this is day 5 of my 30 day i am getting back on track plan..

This is my day 5 and so far so good..iam staying at 1200 calories and not going over..
Iam even getting used to not eating anything when I go to bed..I think that might have been
Part of my problem before...I would eat something at night if I had the calories and eating at night
Is just not the best way to lose weight...even if you do burn calories in your sleep..
Its not going to be enough to burn a sandwich..

So I am really focused now..I still have problems with ice cream..but I found a good way
To do this..I found the calories for the sherbert is less than the ice cream and the yogurt..
And I think its just as good..one scoop of sherbert is 130 calories..compared to 220 for the yogurt
And 350 for the ice cream..so this is much better...so yes I had a sherbert today..and yesterday
But still I don't go over the 1200 calories..and iam drinking my water...I have tried to get in 64 ounces but
Haven't been able to do more than 48 lately..but I will keep going until I do..
I still haven't got a computer now and so I'm on my phone doing this blog..

Tomorrow I go get the knees injected and iam so excited....it almost feels like christmas..hehe
I will never do this again..I was feeling so good and walking so well..I guess I thought I didn't need it
But I was wrong there...I'm not waiting past 4 months next time..I'm going to be in there right on the date..
I have never in my life felt so bad physically ..like I was just going down hill and never come back up again..
Its awful to feel like you will never walk again..and its awful to not be able to walk..I have sure experienced it this last week..I haven't had so much pain in I don't know how long..but oh wow..less than 24 hrs..
I know I will be walking tomorrow night..I just have too..I have to keep walking everyday for my life..
This is for my life..I don't want to go backwards...iam going to weigh in the morning and see what 5 days has done..
I know mentally it has helped me a lot..I feel better physically as well just drinking the water..

Well today is a good day..let us be glad and rejoice in it..
Today is all we have...
Loveyou all

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

i crashed today.....hehe

Thought I fooled ya huh...hehe I did crash today..but not how you would think..
My computer crashed on me just a few minutes ago..so I have to do this from my
Phone ...I hate doing it from my phone..everything is so small..and I can't put any pictures..
On here..I guess I should be glad I have a way of doing it from my phone ..

But today has been pretty good...I was supposed to go to the dentist today and get
Broken tooth looked at..but I can't seem to walk right now..my knees have gone into
Major pain and have given out on me..I get injections Friday and I sure can't wait..
It hurts just to try and get out of the car after I have driven...but I hope the injections
Will do something positive for my knees...cause I can't go through this pain anymore..

I got up this morning and at the breakfast bar ..I do need to boil me some eggs..I like boiled eggs and soft eggs
And scrambled eggs...hehe I think I like eggs...hehe
But after that I had the grillled go wrap and a baked potato with butter..
Then we went riding and ended up going thru braums but this time I just got sherbert..
I looked on my calories and the sherbert is 130 calories for a scoop..that's better than the yogurt
And the ice cream...I got a freeze so its probably 2 scoops..260 calories..
So my calories today have only been 960 altogrther...iam on my water..no pop and
Iam wanting to stay away from the sugars but they seem to be in everything..
Sean and kenli are coming tonight..so when I get off work I will get to see them..
I guess when my knees get injected I will be able to walk then..I sure can't now..

I feel like I have a whole new attitude about this now and I know that if I don't do it for
Real...I won't be here past a few more years..and if iam I will be in a wheelchair..
I don't want that..I want to walk again...you remember the movie I want to live with
Susan hayward....I want to live...I really want to live...

Enjoy the evening

Monday, August 9, 2010

day 1 again..really day 2..hehe

well day 1 was yesterday and when i did my blog i had eaten 640 calories..okay i went with my friend and we went to a place called shortcakes and he got a dinner but i decided to be good and go within my calories..so i got a grilled cheese sandwich and a baked potato with butter and sour cream..i had 1440 in calories and 48 ounces of water for day 1...

okay now day 2..the other day 1..hehe i like what kyle said that everyday is another day 1..it really is..i got up this morning and with my legs being in such awful pain..its not an easy thing to do..i cant walk right now without my cane and i cant get my injections til friday and i am hurting so bad..my legs are swollen and my knees are out..completely out..but i tried my hardest to get up..i am still running the stands while my uncle is sick..so i ran down there so to speak..hehe i wish..and when i came back i had a special k bar..i have one of those every morning..but i noticed today it has fructose in it and sugars in it..not really the thing i want to eat for breakfast..but i got my water out and started drinking it..i just automatically go to my water bottle now..im so glad of that..

so then we did go to wendys today..wendys isnt too bad when it comes to the food..if you pick healthy..i got a grilled go wrap and a baked potato with butter only..no sour cream this time..my calories came to 540 there..i had a piece of grilled chicken and a bar at home so my calories there were 300 calories..so i had eaten 840 calories..now i was wanting a frosty and i always get the smallest one..today i got the small one and split in half with my sister..so we both only had 150 calories..thats a lot less than the yogurt we were getting at braums..

so my calories so far for today came to 1000 calories..
breakfast bar-170
grilled chicken-130
baked potato with butter-270
grilled chicken go wrap-260
junior frosty-160

total-1000 calories..

so i imagine i will have something else tonight but it will be something small..i dont want to go over my 1200 calories tonight..but i am doing well now..i am focusing now on what i have to do and going forward with it..
i will walk tonight when i get off and will try to get used to it again..but right now i am on my 2nd bottle of water and that makes 48 ounces..so i know i will be drinking my 72 tonight..this is exciting when you focus on each day as being the first day..and looking only at what is in front of you..what you have to do for this day..and not for any other...i do feel better when i am eating and drinking right..i love the water now..its just a refreshing tastes ..alot better than pop..
i dont even look at the snocones..isnt that amazing..it doesnt bother me..

have a good evening..

Sunday, August 8, 2010

day1 some progress

this is me and my mom and my sister and sean about a year and a half ago...
at our fav.place charlies chicken..

okay this is day 1 of my returning to eating right and drinking right..
i am doing pretty good..i still have a few hours to be up but i still have 560 calories to get to my 1200 so thats okay..just not sure what i need to eat to reach it..i dont want sugar of any kind and no pop and no ice cream so it kinda leaves some things out ..

what i have had today is..
32 ounces of water so far..i will get to 64 i know that.
1 grilled chicken salad at 320 calories
1oz of green beans which my calorie counter says 50 calories..
and i had a bar for breakfast and a piece of cheese and an apple..
so not sure what i will have now but that amount came to 640..

i feel better about things i wasnt trying to whine or beat myself up ..i just want to be honest on here and this is what happened yesterday, and i did feel bad after i ate it..it just didnt have the same tastes as it used too..

so this is day 1..30 days of this and i should have some weight off..hehe
thank you all for commenting yesterday..i looked at my counter and it said i had almost 200 people read last night..i was so amazed..
i am going to get it off once and for all..i want it off by the time i graduate from college with my bachelors degree..then onto a good job and maybe a different life ahead..wouldnt that be cool..next summer is my 25th high school reunion and i want to be a 150 pounds smaller than i started...

well its my one day off and i am still taking care of the stands.my uncle is sick and so i am on call but so far everything is going well..

i will walk maybe tonight but i know tomorrow night i will..
have a good evening..

Saturday, August 7, 2010

i messed up today..

okay these pictures are of me 3 years ago the day before my dad died..my dad doing what he liked to do best sitting in his chair watching westerns..my mom just recently.. and my moms parents..my grandma and grandpa..

boy did i mess up today..i am going to have to quit going thru the drive thru..i cant do this anymore..i messed up so bad today..but i am not going to let it stop me..i wont mess up tomorrow..this will just be a day off i guess..cause i dont even want to say how many calories i think i just ate..

what it is ..i went to braums right before i came to work..now really i wasnt hungry but i was getting something to go for later and ended up eating it now..at least half of it..im saving the other half for later..but i got a combo meal with med.fries and a drink..real dr.pepper..i know i cant go back to that..and i got a 1/3 pounder..the big sandwich..if that wasnt enough..i wanted ice cream so i got a peanut butter cup mix..loaded with calories...im sure its loaded..so now i am here at work where i know i am not going to burn enough calories to eat this..but i did anyway..i ate it and it wasnt that good..not when i know it was loaded with calories and sugar..just not the good tastes it used to have when i didnt care what it had in it or how many calories it was..and today i acted the same way..like i didnt care ..just ordered it and went..

well that is going to stop..i cant do that and expect to get anything off..no more pop and no more ice cream and no more burgers for me..none..i cant do this ..i cant keep lying to myself and say im doing it if i keep going thru the window and getting ice cream and burgers...and why do i keep doing this anyway..? am i depressed because i cant walk outside..? am i depressed because my knees are giving me pain and i cant walk as good as i did..? i dont know maybe i am..maybe i dont feel like i can get it off ..but i am going to try and do my best..i have too ..i have to try i cant just give up..i cant go back to the ways i was before..i didnt feel good then..why would i want to go back to that..?

well, today i ate it and messed up..tomorrow i start it again..and i stay with it..no more messing up for me..no more eating what i shouldnt eat and drinking what i shouldnt drink..water is my friend and salads are my friends ..no ice cream..

have a good saturday..

Friday, August 6, 2010

thinking about my life when i was a kid..

different look now than it was 3 years ago..wasnt too happy back then..and didnt feel good ever physically..

just looking back at some of the old pictures..it really shows what i have done and what my nephew and sister have done since my dad died 3 years ago..the young pictures are of me when i was 3 and 6..

i am just sitting here at my job just thinking about how my life was back when i was a chubby kid in school..i remember kids making fun of me when i was in kindergarten all the way up to 3rd grade..but what is so nice now ..is those kids decided they were being mean when they got older and they asked me to forgive them..isnt that something..a kid actually realizing what they did was bad and wanting forgiveness..of course i did..i was even friends with those people after that..that was nice..i remember this one girl in the 3rd grade who made my life miserable everyday..i would go home crying everyday because this kid decided that she wasnt going to like me because i was heavier than she was.so she would hit me and call me names and do what she could to make me cry..i even ended up transferring to another school away from her the next year..and that was the best idea yet..i loved the country school i went too ..and i went there from 4th thru 8th grade..it was cool..i felt like a big deal their..it was small ..only 200 kids or so..sean and i both went there and his little brother for a while went with us...even though sean had such bad luck with the kids there..i on the other hand had the best luck with all of them..only once did a kid ever call me a name while i was there..and i was already in the 8th grade..i looked at this little kid and went..really? your going to say that to me..? but your 6..! i guess they come in all ages..

i could never be a bully..i care about people too much..i dont want to make them feel like they already made me feel..i guess that comes from knowing about JESUS at a very young age..and knowing that it isnt right to be this way even if someone is to me..but God has a way of making us humble..when i was 14 and going to bible school, i had to ride the bus home..and there werent any seats left except by me..well the person who got on the bus next was the girl who made my life miserable when i was 8..i knew who she was, and she knew me as well..i didnt want her to sit next to me..i kept asking God no please put her somewhere else..not by me..well my seat was the only one left..and so i said okay you can sit down here..she started talking to me and told me how sorry she was for doing all the things to me that she did..she said she was angry because her brother was dying and he was just a baby..and he did die that year and it was sad that she was under the pressure like that and lost her brother..i really felt for her, but it still didnt make up for hurting me so bad that i would change schools...

but i forgave her and went on..i never saw her again..God certainly has a way of placing people in your life when its time too..every person that has caused me pain like this has said they were sorry at one time or another..so i can forgive because i have to forgive..if i want God to forgive me then i have to forgive them..sometimes it still hurts to think that people would judge me for the weight i have on my body..i always thought ..you are supposed to look at the inside..not the outside..i couldnt imagine a person not liking me just because i weighed more than they did..it just didnt make sense to me..i tried to never judge a person by the outside..we all probably do even though we try hard not too..but i do try and get to know each person and not go by what they look like..i have not had anyone since those times and so i guess i am really pretty lucky in that way..i know my nephew sean had a lot of problems with bullies and has a lot of hard feelings over it ..

i really try and forget it cause it dont do any good to keep thinking about it..i just wonder if the kids who are bullies ever spend this much time thinking about the kids they bullied in school and wondering the same thing..i dont know..they might if their conscious bothers them ..i guess they would..but really i think the kids that are doing the bulleying are kids that are crying out for some kind of help and they just dont know how to ask for it..so they do what they know will get them the attention they are craving even if its the wrong attention..and it hurts someone else in the meantime..i dont think anyone would hurt someone on purpose even if they dont know them not intentionally..

but i am glad i am a grown up now..i think the bullies today are alot worse than they were in my day..30 years ago..i think it would do all of us good to just look in the mirror and tell ourselves just how good we are..just say it..i am a good person..i deserve to live a great life..and i am going to live a great life..no one is going to put me down, and no one is going to make me feel bad..i deserve to live just like everyone else..this is my life and i will live it to the fullest..its a great life ..God gave us this life and God blesses us each day with another chance to do better..this is our chance to do good in this world..to do good for ourselves and for others..were in this together..

yesterday i ended up at 1500 calories and i didnt get all my water down me just because i had gotten a pop..noooo..no more..no more pop over water..its a hard thing for me but i have to keep doing this and drinking the water is part of the plan..i want 49 pounds off by christmas..that will put me at 250 and i think thats a good weight for 5 months down the road..i didnt walk either but its because right now i am taking care of the stands ..my uncle isnt feeling well and i am in charge now so i am working all the time..even if i get off at 9 the other stand doesnt close til 11..and so i have to take care of the money and figure out the next day and it gets into the night by then..but tonight i am going tooo..i am really iam..hehhe
i am drinking my water today and actually today i had pizza..i went and got a little ceasers pizza for 5.00 and ate 4 pieces and gave the rest to my family..so not too bad..right now i am at 1100 calories and wont be eating much else..so i am good..
hope you all have a wonderful weekend..
enjoy the journey along the road..

Thursday, August 5, 2010

a very busy 3 days..

just some family pics from the last 3 days..had a lot of fun now back to the normal routine..

we have had a lot of fun the last three days..my mom has enjoyed it as well..and i am so glad she did..yesterday was our first day back to the way our life normally is..and it felt kinda funny..we had been going places and seeing people for 3 days now and all of a sudden were back to normal routines..well my mom likes normal routines..i on the other hand like to spice things up once in a while and do something different..today i am writing my blog from work..now that is different since my uncle usually doesnt like anyone to bring the computers to work..but he doesnt know so we wont tell him..right!..hehe so this is real different for me..finally something for me to do while i am here..im glad i have this job..but really i wouldnt blame my uncle if he closed it up right now..its so slow there is no way he is going to make money with it this summer..

yesterday we went to charlies chicken to eat and i did something different there too..i ate chicken livers and gizzards instead of the normal plates i would get..but i like livers and i looked it up on my calorie counter on my phone and it wasnt too bad..i didnt exactly put down every calorie on paper yesterday but i know i didnt go over my 1300 ..just simply because i didnt eat a whole lot..i need to focus on that more..and what kind of food i need to be eating instead of the fast food stuff..but i am doing alot better about not eating the snocones here at work..i have decided i dont need them..they are only sugar and i just dont need it..i got down 40 ounces of water yesterday and i am going to do more today..i am doing better about wanting to drink the water than i used too..i used to never want water and now i get up and thats the first thing i do is get my water..and thats not a glass its a 24 ounce bottle..whoohoo one that says i love new york..hehe thanks kenlie i love it..

while i was at charlies yesterday my friend holly saw my app for the calorie counting and so i helped her put it on her phone and she just loves it..i have had the most help with this app than any other app..i love calorie king but this is the one ofr my phone and it helps us tremendously..i still havent gotten out and walked yet..tonight i am going too and i know i have said that over and over and something always happens to stop it..well last night it was a storm..came up real fast and i even saw the rain clouds coming in..looked spooky..but i will tonight ..i know its the walking and the water and the calories..together..i cant do it with just one of the three its all of the three..well i was able to put my compression hose back on my legs..so wrapping my legs for the week that i did that really helped bring them down..now i need to keep them down..my chair broke on me and so i havent been able to go back in the chair and keep my legs up..but i have a hassack now and it seems to help..my legs do feel better in the hose..

well today finds me at work writing my blog and talking to my friends..this makes a long day very short..i hope you all have a wonderfully short day..hehe
enjoy the journey you are on..