Tuesday, June 29, 2010

just thinkin.

As I sit here at my job again..this time just the evening shift..iam drinking my water and listening to the oldies station..not that iam old..but I like it better than rock these days..I read on my phone where oklahoma has become #6 in the
Nation for obese children....I hate that..I am so sad thinking of all the people that
Won't get this early enough and end up gone before they should..I would love to
Help as many people as I can to gain control of their choices..and that's what it is..
We just have to take control of our choices..I went to kfc today with my mom and my sisters and
Brother in law and my uncle came up..this is the day they have 2.49 countryfried steak dinner
And we used to always go on tuesdays to get it..I went but I got a piece of grilled chicken
And a corn cob..and a bisquit..so I had 440 calories in mine...that dinner is 870 calories altogether..
I couldn't believe it..no wonder I was so heavy..look at all the bad choices I made just to save a
Dollar..it was terrible..I know I will not do this again..

I started thinking about all the people who eat this kind of food on a daily basis..how
Can they do this to themselves and think they are doing okay..I never really thought about
Calories til now..and then look at the carbs..iam borderline diabetic which I'm not sure how close to a diabetic iam
But I do know that if I had kept eating the way I was ..I wouldn't be here now..I was on my way down..
Down to the wheelchair, and down to not ever being able to get myself back up..I was there..
My heaviest was just 2 years ago at 356 pounds and I don't think I will forget very soon how I felt then..
I couldn't breathe and I couldn't walk without the cane, I was miserable and lonely
Thought for sure I was going to die an old maid..and
who knows that's possible..but now I have a chance
Iam working with God and He is giving me stength everyday to keep going..

As I said before, I would really like to help people in anyway I can..I know how these people
Feel..and believe me I'm still there just getting closer to the other side and can't wait to get there..
How fun is that going to be..actually wearing a size 10 or smaller..wow what a day that will be..
I wish everyone could get it at the same time and the whole world lose weight together..what a nice thought..
I walked last night when I got back home and did a mile..I'm going to walk again tonight..I'm going after it now..its mine
This year is my time to change and if you all want to join me come right along..I've got plenty of room..
Have a great evening..
God Bless you

Monday, June 28, 2010

another day, another nickel...

me tonight and the pretty sunset across the street..or across the sky..

Here iam sitting here at work ..I've been here since 1 and will be here til 10 tonight..long hours..really long..I don't get a lot of customers around here and really I don't know why..were close to walmart..why wouldn't we be busy..but anyway its a job..I don't get paid a lot but I've been doing it for 18 years and can do it in my sleep..so changing jobs for me is kinda scary if I can even find one these days..

I'm just wonderin what I'm going to eat tonight..all I have are the choices of burger king or if I want to run across the busy highway I can go to carl jr.s so I think I better stick with burger king..but I'm not liking them too well..but I can't starve..that's not good..iam already on my 3rd bottle of water and that holds 3 glasses of water in it..so I will hit 12 glasses tonight..that's a lot of water..I've already hit the bathroom 7 times today

..its something when you drink the water and then you have a water pill too..boy that really works..I'm going to walk tonight ..maybe this evening around here and get in I hope 2 miles..I need to step it up..I was so excited this morning..I was able to really weigh on our scales today..I couldn't believe it..as long as we have had these scales..I have never been able to weigh on them til now..that was a good feeling..I really know in my heart that this is it..I'm not going back again..I'm moving forward and keep going..gonna lose it all and see what happens..I know this year is just starting and gonna be a great year..

So far I've only had 300 calories so I need to get some calories down me..but I'm enjoying this ..its simple once you get used to what you have to do..its not that hard..just a constant effort to keep going..and that is the hard part sometimes..I guess I better get off here for a few minutes..you all have a good evening..
God bless you all

a day to rest and more ham than i need..

i had a great day yesterday and it was a good day today as well..but today we had a reunion to go to, and a ham and bean supper at home..a little out of our routine..so this was a day where i had to guesstimate the calories and i was lucky i had sean here to help me with it.of course i have my handy calorie counter on my phone that i use but he knows more about these calories than i could ever imagine he would..so i asked him what he thought..after church today we headed home for a few minutes and then over to the fairgrounds to have a family reunion with my moms cousins which i guess are mine too..hehe but we dont know alot of these people and sometimes it feels kinda weird to go to a place where you feel like a stranger..but today felt good..both of my sisters and my mom and my uncle went and we came for my moms side of the family..it was a nice reunion and so many people were there today..usually not alot attends anymore..but today it was a big crowd..

i took alot of pictures of course and got into some of them as well..it was fun and we saw people that are getting older and are my moms first cousins so i took pictures of all of them..they still had food there and i was hungry..so i went over and got a bite of two or three items and a very very small piece of cake..which looked so good i dare not turn it down..so then we went home and it was almost time to eat..oh boy here are the ham and beans..ummmm they were good and still are..we still have some for tomorrow and will probably eat a little more then too..but after i ate a couple of pieces of ham and a few beans ..i then asked sean what he thought the calories were and he said probably around 240 and he would be about right..i looked it up tonight and it was 180 for a cup and i didnt even have a cup..it was just on my plate..so i didnt have alot then..but i went back for the ham..i love ham and we never get ham..probably for this reason...and so i ate too many pieces of ham tonight and my stomach hurt and hurt..i am still hurting from the ham..i ended up laying down and did for a while ..but i decided i had to get up and go walk at least a little bit..so i did..i walked a half mile and then the storms started in around here..which is nice since it has been so hot..sean went to boomer and walked and i did a half mile..gotta get back to walking more..i hope tomorrow..

but this has been my day..sorta quiet..i guess thats good..maybe restful..im working all day tomorrow so we'll see how much walking i get in..hope you all have a great monday..seeya later..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU

Sunday, June 27, 2010

wow what a birthday..a day in control..what a nice gft..

we were all taking our pictures with the big bear..isnt he cute..

this has been the most amazing day..it has been so much fun..we started out last night watching the western and at counting down to midnight was fun and my family sang happy birthday to me..then we got up today and before we went anywhere i cleaned the house some..our sister and brother in law came tonight for a week so we were cleaning for the last few days..but around 3 we went to the rocky mountain chocolate factory and it was so cool..they had every kind of chocolate you could imagine..they even had chocolate potato chips..can you imagine..so my sister and i got a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cone..all i wanted..i figured the calories must have been around 450 so i counted it like that..i was giving myself 1600 and hoping i would stay within that..i got a free chocolate truffell and i gave it to my brother so he could taste it too..im not into the troufells but he liked it..i just wanted ice cream..hehe

so we were there for about an hour and looked around and i took lots of pictures..it was great..i really had fun..we even had our picture with the big bear outside too..hehe and so then we went home for an hour before we went to cici's ..some of our cousins came around that we didnt know was in town ..of course we should have because we have a reunion tomorrow for my moms cousins..and so we will be there for a little while ..anyway we visited for an hour and then we were off to cici's..i was really conscious of this place now..in my mind i was saying you can do this kelli..you know you can..and guess what i did..i did do it..

i walked in and when i got my buffet, i went over and started down the line and went for the pasta first ..but then i stopped and said no you dont need extra pizza..i was going to order the supreme thin pizza and eat 2 slices and thats it..and thats what i did..i went to the salad and ate that without the dressing..and ate the little bowl of pasta and then i even went over and got the brownies myself for everyone but not me..! i didnt get a brownie and i always do..i didnt do a cinnomon roll either and i always do 1, 2, 3 and sometimes 4..i didnt do any...i didnt need it and it was added calories..i had an 1/8 of the cake which is 230 calories and i left it at that...wow i did good..i really did..i was so pleased..

when we came home then a few minutes later i went with my friend glen and he and i ended up at braums..he bought us banana splits..i had done well and still had 220 calories to hit the 1600 but i knew this was going to do something..but to my surprise i didnt eat even half of it..he said he didnt want me to eat it all if i didnt want it..and as much as i wanted it..i didnt want all those calories..so i threw it away..i ate some of it but most of it went into the trash..so im not sure how many calories i ate there but i did well just the same..i even drank 5 glasses of water along with all the sweets but it was a good day..all day long it was a good day..i enjoyed it and plan on having a blast all year long til my next birthday..it was amazing ..and all my fb friends were amazing as well..it was a happy birthday for sure..i enjoyed it and will always remember it..now onto next year..!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

its my birthday and i'll party if i want too..party if i want too..you would party too if it happened too you..! hehe

here is the perfect gift for any birthday..a big hug..and its free!

this is who we watched tonight..el dorado..cant beat john wayne!

well today june 26th is my birthday..iam 42 years young..and thats it young..i feel young at least i did til i layed down on the couch to watch a western tonight and couldnt get back up without my back going into pain..wow when did i get this old..i felt like i was getting old when that happened..and iam not..im as old as my mom was when she had me..she was 41 and i was the last of the crew..so i shouldnt feel old..no kids and no husband to take care of ..i should feel as young as i can..and sometimes i do..i know getting this weight off will help me feel even younger..i already feel so much better than i did even 4 months ago..now i can walk a mile in 20 minutes..when i started it took me an hour to walk a mile..i was going pretty slow..but now i just briskly walk..its a nice feeling to get a workout like that..tonight i went out and walked my mile ..i did it after dark and really wasnt feeling well when i did it..but i thought i have to get in at least a mile..and so i did..last night i did a mile and a half after dark..and really felt it..it was good..i was sweatin all over the place..

i did well with the calories last night but tonight friday night not too great..if i had gone back and told the burger king people about the mistake then maybe my night would have been better calorie wise but i didnt and so here iam at 1800 calories for the day..i had ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and they ended up giving me a breaded chicken sandwich and i didnt even like it..but i was so sick drom the heat and the sweets that i didnt go back and tell them..i was at work and had to walk over there and i really didnt feel like walking back over so i ate it anyway..but i had already had a snocone a tiny one but one just the same and it made me sick..i cant do sweets anymore..i got sick last night too..but i have been drinking my water..got 9 glasses down me tonight and 6 down me last night..doing good on the water..

i am going to the chocolate factory tomorrow and have a dip of ice cream..thats all i want ..i really just want to see the place.. and then later on we are going to cici's and have some pizza..i have a free buffet..i dont think i will have much pizza though..i am going to try and make it more salad and a piece maybe..iam not too big on their pizza but were not the richest family right now so its good..

i feel good about this year..i know this is going to be an awesome year..something i have never experienced before ..losing all my weight and keeping it off.. i have never actually lost a big amount before except for when i was on the fen fen..then i had lost 75 pounds and gained back 100..so this time no diet drugs..just good old fashioned work..i really feel this is a year like none before ..i am going to do my very best to make it that way..hopefully the good Lord will help me see it that way..

well i havent done a whole lot except work and clean..my sister is coming in from michigan sunday so were cleaning the house real good..well i will post birthday pictures tomorrow night..hope you all have a wonderful saturday..i know iam going too..seeya all later..

Thursday, June 24, 2010

not an ordinary day...reached my first goal..whoohoo!

okay this is me and my friend lisa ..isnt she pretty...and then me today at 296..whoohoo and this is our sun going down and the storm moving in..

well i dont think this day could have gotten any better if it tried super hard too..this has been a wonderful day..i got up knowing i was going to make this an awesome day and the good Lord provided a super great day..when we got up to go do our normal thing which we need to try and do something else..wendys has so many carbs in the food..and the sodium..its awful..but we watch the calories and really we are going to have to watch the carbs and sodium intake too..

but before we did that.i wanted to go weigh..i just wanted to see how close i am to what i wanted..i know the last time i weighed it was disappointing and it had said i had gained..but not today! wow..i looked at those scales and looked again..296..WOW 296..CAN YOU BELIEVE IT..296..hehe..i wanted so badly to be under 300 by my birthday and now i am 296..i really couldnt get over it..i had a 9 pound loss in a week...wow!

so after i stared at it for a minute then i realized i was under 300..i hadnt been under 300 since i was 30..and this saturday i will be 42..so 12 years..wow it sure makes a difference..so i ran out to the car with the biggest smile on my face and my sister knew something was up..it was amazing..and here lately i was getting all worried that i wasnt losing anything at all..

this was my water pill and water and walking and watching the calories..you do everything together and whoohoo it comes off..so now iam in twoturville..whoohoo!

well as soon as i got somewhere i posted it on my fb and told the whole world..it was quite exciting...hehe everyone got so excited and was just so happy..i was estatic..i could not believe it all day...i went to work and i had only been there for an hour and a friend of mine came to meet me from facebook..she lives in another town around here and was in town to do some shopping..and wanted to come see me..we hadnt met til now and wow we are pretty much alike..we talked for an hour and a half and i didnt have one customer the whole time..i couldnt believe it ..i have not had an ordinary day..she is so sweet and a really great lady and i enjoyed the visit so much..we had to take a picture..just had too..hehe

then i was going to walk when i got home tonight but we are getting a storm in now and it had been thundering and lightening all evening so my walk is gone til tomorrow..i am really trying to see where i would like to go for my birthday..i know were going to cici's that evening ..but i wanted to go to the chocolate factory and just go in and look around ..its on main street here in town and i wasnt going to eat alot of chocolate ..probably share something..i dont know..my friend has been trying to talk me out of it because its like torture ..why go into the place if were not going to eat something there is what he is saying..but i dont know maybe maybe not..im still debating..but i know in my heart i do not want to gain this weight back again..not again..so now its good choices and being careful and cautious about everything..i have to watch it ..but what a day! it couldnt get any better today if it tried too..hehe...plus i drank 9 glasses of water today..whoohoo! water is good! pop is bad! hehe

so now its sleepy time..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

noticing how much of a emotional eater iam..

this is the way i feel right now..like nothing is gonna ever happen..

today had been a good day..nothing out of the ordinary..pretty much like everyday..but i went to work this evening and decided since i was just sitting around..that this wasnt getting me anywhere..so i thought okay..i can get up and walk in place ..any movement is better than none..so i did and i actually did a mile and some exercises for my waist and legs and arms..all at the same time..it wasnt a busy day as usual and i needed something to do..i am always caught up with work there so i thought exercise would be the best thing..and it was..

it would have been a average day except for my emotions tonight..iam noticing how emotional i get after something happens that ends up hurting me..i did well though considering i could have eaten a snocone with the works but i didnt..i didnt eat anything while i was at work..in fact while i was at work i had only had 810 calories at that time and still needed to get to 1200 at least..and even now i havent gotten there..im close but not yet..i left work closed it down and was going home and decided i needed yogurt..so here is the ice cream..except its yogurt so its not as bad..but i am thinking here ..everytime something happens to me..whether my heart gets broken or something else i turn to ice cream..i always have ..i knew i had the calories and i needed something to eat..but i should have gotten something more nutritious and not a comfort food like i did..but iam now looking at it and seeing how anytime i hurt, i need comfort and that is the chocolate..it goes all the way back to when i was a kid..i always needed chocolate..i even sucked my thumb til i was 12 because i was bored and thought of my thumb as chocolate..i really did, sounds silly i know but i used to imagine it being a chocolate thumb..hehe

iam trying to use my judgment and eat when i need to and not when i feel bad..i dont want to be an emotional eater..you never know what your eating when your like that..you just eat because something inside you is hurting..but tonight i caught myself after that and came home and walked..i did another mile around my home and it was hot..i did it in 22 minutes..so i was moving pretty fast..so even though i ate the yogurt..i still worked it off..i have done 2 miles tonight and about an hour of exercise today..i drank 6 glasses of water and ate 1180 calories altogether..so really i didnt do badly..its just seeing what brings the onset of junk food on for me..is just starting to sink into my head..i think its important to know what brings these things on and try our best to steer away from it the next time..i know i am always going to have a problem of some sort that will make me wanna eat ..but maybe next time i will be able to see it ahead of time and realize that food doesnt do me any favors in the long run...we have to eat..but we dont have to live to eat..
my uncle always told us in my family how we always lived to eat and he always eat to live..he was 5 foot 8 and 110 pounds and couldnt gain a pound if he tried..and sometimes he tried really hard to gain a pound and we would always gain it with him..he lived with us and he was always cooking omelets, probably where sean got the omelet making from...he was good at it..but he would always get on to me and slap my hand if i tried to get into the fridge when i didnt need too..he would say you dont need that..but uncle jim im hungry..no your not..you need to lose some weight not gain it..he was a good uncle and probably my favorite..but it was my fridge and he wouldnt let me in it..hehe

i know he would be proud of sean and i and susie now ..he is gone and has been since i was 23..but he was a good uncle..i want to get to that place where i just eat to live instead of live to eat..i know i will someday soon..but i have along way to go..i think i did good tonight though..i was upset and instead of eating the house down, i went out and walked..a better solution..i will be better tomorrow and have an even better day..hope you all do too..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

we had a very good fathers day and a long day afterward..

wow alot of pictures i know..but you know me .im the photographer..these were all taken on fathers day and the last two were on my way out to my friends house..he lives in the country and there are cows everywhere..isnt it a pretty sunset..enjoy them..

wow, it is already the official first day of summer, even though it has felt like summer for 2 months now..but this was a good long hot day..hehe can you tell i dont like heat..im not a summer person even though i was born in the middle of summer..my birthday is saturday and so it is coming up fast..42years young..thats the way i am going to be now..young, not old , not an old woman but a young soul..i want to feel young..i want to be here for a long time to come so that maybe if i ever do get married, i will be able to play with little children whether they are mine or my husbands..i want to have a child before i get much older..if its possible..but i know thats a dream and to most people a reality but for me it seems so far away..but if i dont get this done now, i wont be here to play with any kid..so this has to be done, and maybe thats what God is doing..He is getting me ready to be able to be a grandma to some little child..

i am so wore out tonight.i worked all day today and when i first got up it was late..i just had barely enough time to get dressed and get going..i open at 1 and close at 10 so this has been the longest day for me..especially when the people dont get out til the sun goes down..that was 9 tonight..i really didnt feel good either or i would have went out and walked when i got home..i am going to do that tomorrow..i have to keep it up in order to do anything..but now i am home and can go to bed and iam so glad...

we had a good day yesterday, we tried our best to make it that way..sean and his youngest came down and we all went to charlies chicken ..our usual place these days to go for special occassions..they have good food and its not real high calorie..i had the roasted chicken and a salad without dressing..i like it better that way..i did eat the roll and i had half of my mashed potatoes..i gave the other half to my brother..so my dinner came to 490 calories which i thought was really good..we took alot of pictures which we always do when they come down now..but my brothers are the men of the house now..my brother keith and my nephew/brother sean..so we got in some good pictures...my other nephew shane and my dad were the ones missing in our fathers day...i have 2 more nephews and a brother in law but they arent here at those times..we remembered my dad and we have good memories of them both..

it was a day of reflecting on the past and trying hard to move forward to the future..thats all we can do is keep going..sean and his young one went to the lake to do a 5k and we ended up following them over there and i got some shots of them walking..which i thought was pretty cool..then we came home and boy it felt good to be inside..we have had some really hot days and they dont seem to be over with yet..

i went out to my friends house last night and stayed out there til it was too late to do anything but go to bed..so iam doing my blog now because of that..but we had a really good time visiting..we enjoy being friends and encouraging each other along this journey..he has already lost 15 pounds and he looks great..he put me on his treadmill and wow let me tell you my pedometer must be set wrong or something, because i tried to do 3 miles and hour on his treadmill and i almost fell off..it was fast..tooo fast..i can do 2 and a half miles an hour which is really something since it was just a few months ago that i couldnt walk any at all without my cane..so iam proud of that..i know that as long as i keep going, then this will come off..it has too..i think i am going to be checked for that hypothyroidism..i seem to have gone thru everything it says..so i may have it and that may be why iam not losing alot..but either way i am just going to keep trying and keep moving forward..thats all we can do..

we had so much fun doing his treadmill last night, and i am so glad he is getting into losing his weight and counting his carbs..he means alot to me and i dont want to see him die an early death..so we are encouraging each other and that feels nice..i did walk last night for 15 to 20 minutes and then tonight nothing..so i need to get busy tomorrow and walk and do this every day and everyday and everyday..i was for a while but lately i slacked off since its so hot, but i cant do that anymore..i did well on my calories both days..yesterday i ended up with 1300 calories and tonight it was 1470..i had a snocone today since i was there all day and so i counted it ..but i am doing well and tomorrow i will do well again..i took my water pill the last 3 days and thats all i do now is live in the bathroom..so maybe when i step on the scales again i will be lighter..hehe we'll see..that will be friday..

i am going to bed early tonight at least early for me...lol i hope you all have had a good and prosperous day..it has been a good one..
have a good night and seeyou all tomorrow..

Sunday, June 20, 2010

happy fathers day and im trying to keep it simple..

happy fathers day dad..we miss you!
enjoy your day everyone!

howdy ya all,

i got up today trying to feel better about everything..i am just trying to figure it out, but i guess i better just keep it simple and walk more and eat some and drink water..that really does seem to be it, but im hoping it is just that simple..i am going to up my walking and make sure i am staying around 1300 calories..i ate 1400 calories tonight..i ended up having a few m and m's..they were good..i enjoyed them and now i dont need them..

i had a good day..i wasnt able to walk and i know that i shouldnt be making excuses..because if i dont put in the exercise, then why should i expect to lose..i have to make the effort myself if i think i am going to lose something in the end..i know iam going to walk tomorrow because i am off work..so i will be able too..i probably do need to invest in an exerciser of some sort..but i like to walk..

my friend has a treadmill and he is using it everyday now and so when i go out there, he is going to put me on his..so i will be doing it tomorrow..hehe i need to just start walking in place like i was doing before...i am just a little impatient about this..i just thought i would be able to see more weight loss than i have but i guess i just have to take the good with the bad..and keep going..

before when i was losing weight..i lost like 15 pounds a month and i was eating high protein and walking everyday and then drinking quite a bit of water..and now its almost the same way and i cant lose more than a few pounds..but i will wait it out..and keep going..i have my whole life to lose this weight, so why should i be in a rush anyway..it didnt take me over night to put it on..not much more than over night ..hehe but it did take a little while longer than that i guess..so it may take a little longer to take it off too..

well its fathers day and im missing my dad today..we always had a good time and i look like both of my parents and so i am just kinda wishing he was here..but i know one day i will see him again..we have 2 more men in our family to celebrate fathers day with..so were moving forward and keeping the past in our hearts..

well i am going to try and make tomorrow a much better day then today..i did drink alot of water today and i dont seem to have a problem in that area..i ended up with the water pill moving thru all day..so maybe i will lose some water weight before my birthday.. that would be nice..i better get to bed..gotta get up early ..
have a happy fathers day everyone..!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

well i think i am doing it right..

i have been doing this blog since march 4th and actually i started walking feb.22 and within those few months i thought maybe i would have lost like 30 pounds at least..but i started feb.22 at 329 and by march 4th i was 317..and now if i have lost any lately i may be 305 again..i just dont get it..i am walking and did walk today only 3/4 of a mile tonight but i was so tired and it was 1100 pm so i walked as much as i could..i drank 54 ounces of water today and i finally got to 1100 calories..i have given up my yogurt cone today, so that took 220 calories away..it just had tooo many carbs in it..33 carbs wow..

but i think i am doing it right..my sister and i go to a nutritionist next friday..to see what she says..my sister is diabetic so we need to know what she can eat..i did lose the inches right away but now iam not losing anything and its getting me down..i wanted to lose and of course it shouldnt be like a race..i never do races because i dont do well with races..its the pressure i guess..i know i have my whole life to get this weight off..and it will come off as soon as it needs too but i just wish it would at least drop 8 pounds a month..is that too much to ask for..?

i am having a hard time getting in my walking in the evening..it is so hot here and iam working during the evening, that i dont feel like going out into the humidity until its almost time to close..then its like okay i will just walk at home..our park right now is so dark, and new people have moved in all over that i am not sure i want to walk around the park after dark..i just end up walking in front of my home like i did tonight..it was the best thing i think..i did 3/4 of a mile in 17 minutes so iam staying fast..which is something..my friend cant hardly believe that i can walk that fast since all he has ever seen is me walking slowly..i would just stroll along side of him and now i am walking just as fast as he is..pretty good for just a few months..

my birthday is next week..on the 26th and we are going to go to cici's pizza for the day and then when my sister and her husband get here the next day or so we are going to the stockade the next weekend for my birthday..so i guess i get two birthdays..whoohoo..

i want to be a 100 pounds thinner by my birthday next year..that would be the greatest birthday present ever..i hope i get there..i know i will i just hope its by then..well i did just have 1100 calories tonight..i hope i dont gain weight doing that..but its hard for me to find food to have all the calories i need..when i went to work this evening i had only had 700 calories at that point..so now i have it up to 1100 ..

well i am off to bed now..it is really late and i am bushed..
have a great saturday and GOD BLESS YOU ALL

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

iam choosing to be better and hopefully get wiser...

here iam sweatin up a storm tonight..i actually walked a mile in 21 minutes and did a mile and a half in 30 minutes..when i got back in i was pouring with sweat..this is how i looked..

Iam having a better day emotionally..I woke up late but for me anymore that's normal..
But I woke up feeling better about things..not completely worry free but I'm getting there..
I can't do anything but go out and get a job..and that's what I will do..but if I let myself go..then I will
Be doing more harm to myself..I'm realizing I can be an emotional eater..I guess I always was..ice cream was it for me and last night it was what I craved..although I had already overate because of the way I felt..

But I noticed today I have focused more.. and feel better about it..so many people have told me how I inspire them and that is something that humbles me everyday..I know who gives me the strength to keep going..God has always been my true inspiration and gives me strength to get through whatever comes my way..iam proud to be an inspiration to others and I hope I never disappoint you all..

I know I can kick this emotional eating and really understand where my problem really lies..
I just have to do it..my main problem has always been not enough money..I'm a poor girl from oklahoma who seems to still be poor..I'm rich in friends and family and poor money wise..but I guess who isn't these days..we get what we need and maybe that's enough..I'm sitting here looking at the nice sunny day we have now ..and I realize its a gift from God Himself..it has rained again today but now the clouds are gone and the sun is out..

I do feel good..I have been drinking a lot of water and by tonight I will get all my water in..
My friend just texted me to see how I was doing..he is such a sweet man..we are going to do this together and iam so glad of that...I will walk this evening..that is something I haven't been good about this week..and I have to keep it up..if I don't I won't lose..its all 3 things..walking water and watching calories..all 3 doing it together..
Well I hope you all have a nice evening and I'm going to try my best too..
Make it popfree this evening..
God Bless You All..

well i came close to letting worry get the best of me..

i got up this morning and it was okay..just another day only it was nice and sunny out so i knew i was going to work..but i got a phone call from one of the student loan places that is getting ready to become due next month since i havent been in class this last semester..well i preceded to tell them that i was going to be back in class soon and i would then need a inschool deferrment..okay when that happens but this is a private loan in which my brother is a cosigner and with private loans you dont have all the options that you have with all the federal loans..so they said i would need to start paying them back come dec and next april..WOW! a shocker..i didnt know i had to pay it while i was in school..

well this started my day going down hill..my payment was 463.00 i couldnt believe it..with all the other things i pay and then this too..i have to get a full time job even while iam in school..there is no other way to do this..i started worrying and havent stopped worrying yet..i worried so much today, that i gave myself a migraine..i was hurting so bad i ate 2 kiddie size snocones and 220 calories in candy..then i went after work and had a ice cream cone..i was struggling and thought i was going to lose it..i didnt drink any reg.pop and did drink some water today..not a lot but some..i was thinking all day long and my friends on fb were trying to help me and my friend i always go see was being very comforting to me..he was trying to help me so much..he hated to see me the way i was i could just see it in his eyes..i overate and now i have to get back on track..i have 3 more semesters before i graduate with a bachelors degree and then i hope i can find a good paying job to be able to pay these loans..i never got them with any intentions of not paying them back..but it is a real shock when you have to start earlier than you think..so now i am going to have to stay focused on this or i will not get this weight off and then i may end up in a wheelchair and i am not going to do that..i cant go back..i have to move forward and i have to depend on God for the help i need...He will provide for me as long as i ask for it..

well i will start again tomorrow and just try and focus again and hope i can find a job soon..so pray for me that i will..

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

wow what a storm..the power went out and the floods came

oh this was quite a flood..the picture of the girl is the one who was rescued from the trees..and this is our weatherman gary england and he is pointing out who got the most rain..our town is up there..stillwater..this is me coming in from the rain..see me wet.hehe what a day!
i also wanted to add this picture of my mom and dad..i like the way i did this..this was them when they were young and the little picture is when they were older..isnt it cool..

this was a day where i woke up to storms just out of no where..it started raining early this morning and it hasnt let up very much at all..i woke up hoping i would get to go to work..and so when i saw the weather ..i knew i wasnt..i really need a job that doesnt depend on the weather..i didnt blog last night, just because i was so tired from the whole day..of course eating pizza at cici's didnt have anything to do with it..lol

but we wanted a change and a change is what we got..we went to cici's pizza and ate the buffet..you know i cant figure it out..why can i go to the stockade and do well with the calories, but i cant seem to control it very good when i go to cici's..and ya know if i was going to go off a diet for anything it would be pizza hut ..not cici's..

so really iam not sure except i love the brownies and the cinomon rolls..i did drink water all day and i hadnt eaten very much but i probably over did it..not again though..i didnt walk either and should have..but lately i havent felt really good so i didnt last night..
i ended up going to have a coke with my friend, and he is just so excited about the weightloss...he is wanting to walk with me around the lake now so in another month we may be doing that..i have never seen him this excited and i am so glad..he wants to do better and he wants the weight off and he wants to support me in doing this as well..so this is all good..

i came home so late that i just went on to bed..and then i woke up this morning at 6am again..and heard it rain..and it rained so much in oklahoma city that it flooded and people were having to be rescued from their cars and trees..one poor girl was swimming in the river to get over to a tree to get into ..she was finally rescued..

we havent had a flood like this in many years..i did better today and still didnt walk..i have to get out there tomorrow i hope..i drank the water and it doesnt seem to be a problem for me there..but tonight i didnt feel well..i think its the girly thing and so i layed down and ended up falling asleep and missed my walk..but i was just starting to come in here to do my blog when the power went out all over town..we thought it was just around here, but it was everywhere..and an hour and a half later after we burned the candles to see by the lights came back on..this has really been a storm..i hope to be able to walk tomorrow and i hope i feel better soon..i still feel bad tonight..but i went to weigh this afternoon and why i think its a girly thing is because it said i gained 10 pounds and i know i didnt gain no 10 pounds..it has to be water retention and the bloat feeling..i shouldnt have weighed , now i wont til my birthday..well i better get to bed if i can..im not real sleepy now..hehe

hope you have a great tuesday..

Saturday, June 12, 2010

my shake weight!

well here iam tonight doing the shake weight..it really does work and believe me my arms need it..just look at the flab on the arms..i tellya i dont know why i let myself get this way..but i plan on finding out...im a psychology major..maybe i can figure it out someday..but i did this twice today and i will probably be sore tomorrow..so here it is..the shake weight..20.00 at your nearest walgreens store..hehe this is not a paid adversment..hehe goodnight

a day closer to being thinner..

Iam sitting here at my snocone stand doing this on my phone..I would rather do on the computer
But I'm here til 10 tonight and nothing to do..so I thought I would write something..
I got up this morning and had to go run an errand, and used to I would stop at the nearest conoco
And get a 32 ounce drink, and then get another one when I went to eat, and refill it before
I went home...then I would drink more during the day..it would be easy for me to have 100 ounces
Of pop every day and that was normal..

Well today I went and did the errand and didn't even look at conoco..I know they are going to go out of business with me now..lol my sister was even noticing it too..she said she really wanted me to stop..hehe but not now
I don't even think about pop..in fact water is the only drink in my vocabulary these days..

I went and walked some today..finally had a chance to get out and do it..so I walked almost a mile..and then I came in and did my shake weight....I did the shake weight for 6 minutes and I can really feel it..it will work..
As long as I do this everyday and be consistant with everything, there is no reason for me to not lose weight..
Eventually it will all come off and then I will know how and why I put it on in the first place..
I think its very important to try and understand why we do this to ourselves..because it is us that do it..
No one else forces us to put food in our mouth or drink the pop..we choose this way because something in our life is out of balance..maybe were depressed, sad, anxious, bored..whatever it is we need to think about why we eat..why do we want to hurt ourselves..why don't we like ourself..I mean we aren't bad people just because were fat..and so many others look at heavy people as something is terribly wrong, and that's their problem, because we are good people ..

But we get into bad health because of our obesity, and then we lose hope even more..I know how that feels..when I
Weighed 356, I couldn't breath, I had shortness of breath, I couldn't walk across the street without my cane.
In fact I couldn't walk anywhere without my cane..I thought I looked good but I didn't..I thought I had self confidence
But I don't think it was there like I thought..I was friends with a lot of people but no one looked at me in any way other
Than a friend..I wanted a marriage and kids but didn't see it in my future..I'm still not sure its there but I'm better
Than I was then..my confidence really is there now..I know now I'm going to do this once and for all.
And while I'm doing it, I'm going to try and understand why I got this way..what happened that made me just eat and drink so much that I wouldn't even notice the gain..

I used to have a friend back when I was in my thirties that tried so hard to get me off of pop and onto water..I never would listen to him...I wish I had now..but I'm sure he would be pleasantly surprised to know I never drink pop ever now.I'm going to walk some more this evening and get the rest of my water in..I don't ever eat here at my job..so I will have a few calories for tonight...I've been eating a lot of letuce lately..just lettuce and some salt..
This is just a normal everyday life now..been doing this for 3 months now and it just feels normal..

Hope you all have a great weekend..I'm off tomorrow..whoohoo!

Friday, June 11, 2010

it seems so normal now..

just look at the change..the heavier one was taken about 2 years ago..it was in 2008 ..i was 356..and this is me today..somewhere around 301..and i hope smaller than that now..what a change ..and it because i made my mind up to do it..iam focusing and will not stop til i get there..i think i might be looking better as i age..ya think..lol

well today just seems like any other day ..except its a day where all i drink is water now and all i end up focusing on is my health..a very normal day for me now..not so normal a few months ago..i didnt used to even want to talk about dieting or watching the calories, and my goodness never drink water..i am really focusing on it and its starting to show with other people i know..i was just told tonight how proud of me my friend is because he sees how much i really want this..i have overcome my pop addiction and thats not a small thing to do..i dont drink diet pop either..its straight water right from the tap..and my mind is set on getting healthier and walking i havent walked this week and that is something i dont like to get away from...i know walking is part of the main keys to weight loss..its all in there..walking calories and water..the 3 w's..watching, walking and water..hehe

i drank 88 ounces of water today and i just wonder if you can drink too much water..i know when my aunt died a few years ago, they wouldnt let her have her water..she loved water and drank it all the time like i do now..and when she was passing away they wouldnt even give it to her..before that they said she drank too much water and had to take her off it..so i wonder what is toooo much..!

well i was sick today and spent the day in the bathroom ..i went to work but i wasnt feeling well before that...im wondering if its just the heat..i mean it has been getting close to 100 degrees lately..

i sure enjoyed the conversation my friend and i had tonight..we get along so great now..it feels so good to be able to laugh again..and now he is getting serious about his weight too..he is a diabetic and he is starting to count the carbs ..he went to a nutritionist and was given a plan to go by for his diabetes..i am really happy he did..i was starting to worry about him..and he is getting so excited ..all he wants to talk about is the nutrition and what he has found out and iam so glad..we had a good talk tonight about it..

i ended up with 1390 in calories and actually it wouldnt have been that much if i hadnt gotten a polish sausage at a convience store tonight..i was hungry and this was all i could see that i could eat..i looked at the twinkies and the cupcakes but said no do you really want those calories..that is junk food..i needed something..so i got a polish sausage and ate it..no bread just the hot dog..260 calories and it took me to 1390..so im okay with that..

now i go to another day of focusing on my health and better days ahead...i remember when i was younger i just thought about the pop i was drinking..where to get my next coke..or for me it was dr.pepper..all the time..i had pop in my hands all the time..and now i have water in my hands all the time..i was always scared i was going to choke and i wouldnt have anything to drink..thats why i always carried something with me..but it didnt have to be pop..and now its not..i cant even imagine how much pop i used to drink..it was a lot..80 to 100 ounces of reg. pop and oh so many calories..so many pounds..and such an addiction..now its gone and gone forever..thank you God for that..

Thursday, June 10, 2010

well im doing this just in time..

Iam doing this from my phone tonight which is really tough since I can't see all the words..
Tonight I had a pain in the center of my heart that hurt so bad I almost ended up at the er..
I was at work and was stressed tonight but I shouldn't let my stress get me like that..
Worry doesn't solve anything..it only adds to the problem..so all my fb friends were
Getting worried and my friend I had been talking to was getting worried too ..I didn't want to upset
Anyone but this is scary...I think well I know iam getting this weight off at the right time..
I am ready to see heaven but iam also not about to go before my time..

I thought I would write tomorrow but I saw where I could do it on my phone so iam..
I did well again and now my sister is drinking the water too..she hadn't been but she is seeing
How small iam looking now so she drank 6 glasses today...I did too..didn't walk though..
Was going to until the heart problem started...but I ate 1200 today..and wasn't even hungry..its something
How it takes me all day to get my food in..

Well I think I better rest and get some sleep..my head was hurting too tonight..
Don't know what brought all of it on but I hope it goes away..
Have a great day..
God bless you all

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

well i chose fruit over a candy bar..wow!

this is me and my pretty nieces amber and courtney..

okay so today was a day where i had to go to work this evening and not all day..which is fine with me..lol but somehow i wished i had been there all day..when i got there it was so dead, and my tv doesnt work so i have a radio and thats about it..i do have a dvd player but i never get into the movies when im trying to work..but tonight there was no work..it was 98 degrees and nobody wanted a snocone..i think its too hot for it then, but i thought maybe someone at night would want one..i sat there and ate an apple and had some pudding ..i had already had most of my calories today..by the time i get there most of my calories are done..i had 900 by then and had only had a junior size yogurt cone so i was doing well on that..i went ahead and ate my apple and pudding and so i was at 1120 by then, i knew i had to get up to 1300 at least to not starve myself..and the way i was feeling i was starving..hehe

so tonight i had to go to walmart after work and i looked and looked at the candy bars and doritos and all kinds of chips and the chocolate..i even went down the isle of chocolate candy..oh i was tempted to get some..but i didnt..i knew i didnt have that many calories left and why spoil the whole day for one temptation..it wasnt worth it..so i went to the fresh produce and picked out some peaches and tomatoes and strawberries..wow that is some good food..

so when i got home i fixed myself some strawberries and a peach..instead of getting the old candy and ruining the whole day..i drank all my water too..its so easy to drink the water for me now..its all i drink..no more pop and nothing else either..i dont even get chocolate milk..and i used to love chocolate milk..
but this has been a tiring day and a day where i didnt get to do my powerwalking..i wanted too but its just so late when i got home to go out..i may do it in my bedroom and walk in place for awhile..i walked all day..i got in 13,800 steps today and that was walking..

but now i am thinking bed..hehe i need some rest..another day comes tomorrow..

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

well it was a fun day ..not too bad

well here iam at the stand with my hair up..i really like my hair up and now it is getting slightly longer so i can put it up..and here is the shake it..its cool..you just shake it..and it works..

i had a good day today..i felt good and i it wasnt too bad...i got up pretty much just in time to get ready to go to work..i had to leave the house around 1230 and so i went by and got the money and then i went to walgreens and bought a new exercise called shake it...i love this thing..its a 2 and a half pound weight and you shake it and it is supposed to get the flab off the arms and turn it into muscle..it works..i tried it for just a couple of minutes and i felt the burn..hehe you do it for 6 minutes a day and you should have great arms in no time..

i went to work and i was going to be there all day today.i work from 1 to 10 at night, and the daytime is the busiest, so i needed to get ready for that..but today i was busy from 3 to 4 but it was cloudy most of the day and when that happens our business slows down..but i had my Bible with me and another book and this shake it and a couple of dvds..so i wasnt going to be totally bored..hehe i read alot today in my Bible and enjoyed that..i even walked some outside and did a half mile..i was going to do some tonight too but when i got home my uncle was here, so i didnt go out tonight..

i did drink 6 glasses of water today and only drank 10 ounces of dt.coke..so i didnt have a complete non pop day..but close..i actually didnt like the taste of the pop so i threw it away and got some water..wow i chose water over pop..what a change..i would never have imagined this even a few weeks ago..this is a change..i dont feel right if i dont drink my water and walk..i just dont feel good if that doesnt happen..and i ate 1250 calories tonight..im trying to figure out how to do the weight loss...thank you chris for helping me with it..i didnt get to start it at the beginning of the day for me..so it is off some but the way it reads, i burn around 100 calories every hour..so if i burn 2200 calories in a days time, and i eat 1300 calories then 22 minus 13 is 9 so it would take me 4 days to lose a pound..so actually i should lose at least 3 and a half pounds every two weeks..and if i exercise i will burn alot more..okay i can do that..

i came home and was so tired from the day..it was a long day just being there..but it was fun..i enjoyed it and i enjoyed the day..im trying so hard to keep my focus on the right things and just forget everything else..i have to get this weight off, and i know God will help me do it..but i have to help myself too..so im doing it..and now im doing the sleep thing..lol you all have a good night..

Sunday, June 6, 2010

im back to walking..

i have felt good today..maybe its because i wasnt at work and was busy today..i went to church this morning and the message was a good one..i almost felt like i needed to hear it so iam glad i went..i had been away for about a month, and sometimes it is so easy to fall out of going to church and reading the Bible..i need to make that my first priority over this blog..but i feel good..i know God has a plan for me, sometimes its just hard to keep going and still smile about it, even though iam crying on the inside..i see so many people who get married everyday and some 3 or 4 times in their lifetime and i wonder how do they do it..i cant find one man to marry much less 3 or 4..lol so i get frustrated and impatient and lately this past year or so i get very emotional..i cry for nothing..

BUT IAM STOPPING IT RIGHT NOW..no more crying or whining about not being married or having kids..i know kids and a husband and marriage can be a pain sometimes..but if its such a pain why do so many people do it..? you know you take the good with the bad when your married..and if your not sure of the person your with you take a little longer getting to know him..i almost rushed into a marriage and we are both glad we didnt..but we still care for one another..i dont know that we will ever get married to one another but were friends..

anyway iam just going to focus on what God is telling me and how HE wants me to be..i will focus on getting better and better as kyle says and getting slimmer and slimmer..i hope to be 130 by my graduation which may be later than i thought now..but that gives me more time to get slimmer..lol i am getting faster with my walking now..i walked 2 miles today ..i did the first mile in 93 degree heat and it took me 22 minutes to do a mile..my monitor said i was doing 3 miles an hour..i was smokin..lol then i walked this evening after it got a touch cooler..and i mean it was just a touch..but this time it took me 28 minutes to do a mile..i was walking 2 miles an hour tonight..i guess i was tired..we had a good day today..and my sister and i are doing well watching our calories..i had close to 1300 calories tonight and have been drinking alot of water ..i have had 48 ounces so far and will probably have another glass which is 16 ounces for me..before bed..so today has been good..

i may not weigh til the day before my birthday..just because i get so upset if i gain water weight..so on the 25th we will see if i have gotten under the 300 mark..i would love to see 299..i think that would be a great birthday present..i will probably be writing late tomorrow night..i have to work all day..from 1 to 10 so i am going to be wore out..but i will be drinking my water and trying to walk some if i can..i guess i need to get back to thinking about going to bed now...so you all have a great night..and a wonderful monday..keep it a non pop monday..

im tired of the tears ..

this is me today with my hair up when i wasnt all teary eyed..and the sunset tonight where i was working at..

i have had a week of emotions and i dont know why..i am getting ready to turn 42 in 3 weeks and for some reason this year is really bothering me..im tired of the tears everyday..i tear up and feel like iam going to cry and then i get a customer..it happens every evening at work ..i guess i am thinking too much...im thinking about why am i not married and why dont i have kids..why am i single and feeling like iam going to be single forever..

i cry to my fb friends and i whine and really no one wants to hear me whine..i know one person who hates it so i better just stop it altogether..i really think its my hormones that is doing this to me..i just hate being a girl sometimes..it would be nice to not have to go through all this mess..

i did pretty good today..i ate 1300 calories and drank 48 ounces of water...i didnt walk again..i had to go to walmart after work so i walked all around walmart..they are remodeling the store so you cant find a thing..so i guess that counts..anyway i will walk tomorrow...i bought a new heart rate monitor that i wear on my arm..since the bodybugg is just a dream..i could barely afford the heart rate watch..it will tell me how many calories i am burning...thats what i wanted..well my hair is now getting longer..long enough to put up now..so i did today..and i liked it..

i better get to bed..i have church in the morning..have a good sunday!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

okay life gets busy sometimes..

well the pretty flower is one of the flowers we have around our house..and the pictures are of my nephew sean whom most of you know..well our company was his dad..it was a nice visit and we all got to meet him this time..he was very nice and everyone enjoyed it..this is my sister and her son and his dad..pretty cool..

well i know i havent blogged for two days now..this is friday night and i guess the last time i blogged it was wednesday..maybe tuesday night late..anyway this has been an extremely busy week..we had company last night for a while and we had to clean up the house besides me going to work and running around like i was a chicken with its head cut off...iam always busy it seems like, and sometimes even late at night i dont have enough time to get on the computer..

but yesterday was a good day, we got the house cleaned and then the bills got paid and we went and sat down for an hour..i dont have to work the day shift anymore so my life is back to normal about that..but we went to charlies chicken and had meatloaf and i ended up having salad without dressing which is just lettuce..but its good..i really like it..and i dont have to worry about an extra 100 calories that way..anyway i went to work and didnt have anything at work..just water..i have really been doing well on this water kick...and i really hope its not just a kick but a whole change for me ..i never used to drink water at all and now i dont drink anything else but water and not flavored water ..the real thing..good ole fashioned water..its good for you and its the key..you put water and exercise and 1300 calories together everyday and you will lose weight..i guarantee it..its the key to the whole thing..

i now weigh 301 and its because of the water..i drink it all the time and really if i drank diet coke instead, look at how much sodium i would be putting into my system..i drink all the time..it used to be dr.pepper..then it was dt.pepsi now its water..i hadnt walked in a couple of days simply because i have been so busy that i didnt have the time to go out in the 100 degree heat to do it..it is so hot here i cant stand it..but tonight i did walk, and i walked faster than normal i guess..i didnt feel like it was but it must have been..i walked a mile and a third in 30 minutes..i used to walk a mile in 30 minutes so iam getting faster now..i like that..lol

i walked after 10 tonight..its the only time it feels good enough to walk..i have been doing okay on my calories..i had around 1350 tonight, and last night i know i was somewhere around 1500 ..with the company comes good cookies and they are caloried..i had 2 last night before i knew the calories..each cookie has 80 calories..how awful..so tonight i had 1 ..but i bought some wheat thins which are my favorite and i am having a bit of a problem keeping them away from me..

iam also an emotional girl right now..i dont know why but every now and then i just cry..no reason i just cry and tonight and last night were both times i cried..i think my age is getting to me now..iam going to be 42 in a few days and i dont have my own family or my own home, or a husband ..and i just feel sad..like its never going to work out for me to do anything..i have a wedding gown i bought a couple of years ago when i thought i was getting married and now i am getting ready to sell it and its never been used..i guess i am just tired..but i have done okay with the calories and very good with the water and back on track with the walking..so i am still doing it..hope you all have a good weekend..goodnight..

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

well i have almost made it..whoohoo

these pictures are all from memorial day..its really hard to believe my nieces are old enough to be with guys..it just doesnt seem real..this is pretty much us now..

well i know i havent blogged for a couple of days..i have been extremely busy to where i cant even sit down at the computer to do anything...monday of course was memorial day and we got around kinda late around here..no one had to go to work so we all stayed up late and then slept in..so b the time we got around to getting ready and i helped my sister and mom do their hair..it was getting time for sean and his family to come and be with us that day..we always go out to the cemetary with all of us together..my dad and nephew are out there as well as several aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins..we used to have such a huge family and such big get togethers and now it is down to my mom and 2 aunts and 1 uncle out of 10 kids...

anyway, we went to taco mayo and i ate 2 tacos and one refried beans..that was very filling and i had water to drink..in fact i had 68 ounces of water that day..wow i never thought i would drink that much water and like it..even tonight i have had 40 ounces and had them late tonight..i ended up with 1270 last night and really was not hungry ever...i even went out and walked a mile last night..after we went to eat then we went to the cemetary and looked at the graves..its always sad..my mom broke down yesterday at home thinking about my dad..i guess we better not talk to much about him..she seems to miss him more these days..

when we came home i walked and then i texted my friend to see if he wanted to go get a coke and he did..so we were out for a long time..6 hours we talked..i couldnt believe it..this is how we were when we were going together..we were always talking and never could get away from one another for too long..well we had a good time and enjoyed it..i didnt get in til 230 am and then i had to find some pics for sean to put on his blog..iam the photographer around here and i have pictures going back to when we were 10 years old..of course we have pictures as well of us when we were babies..i just dont know where they all are..

anyway that was yesterday, so now comes today..well it started off taking my mom to the doctor..of course i had to take my brother to work and then my mom to the doctor and it seems she has a pretty strong heart..i was watching it beat and it looked pretty cool..then i went to weight..now iam on my monthly so i took about 4 pounds off for that..and it said i weighed 301..301 can you believe that..i couldnt ..its been a week since i started drinking all water and i lost 9 pounds..i could not get over it and still cant..its amazing..water is the key..it really is..and so we did our errands and got my brother for lunch and then back home we went..i was so tired but i had to go to work..i took my brother to work and then i went to work..i really dont like the day shift but right now i had to work it..hopefully i wont anymore..i trained a new girl today and she did really well so she is going to do it tomorrow...well after work we went to wendys and had the grilled chicken go wraps and went on home after that..we are expecting sean and his company on thursday and so we are cleaning the house..lol i really didnt think too much on food tonight..i was trying to mess with my sisters new computer to get it set up but i couldnt do it very well...i didnt walk tonight..i was just tooooo tired from all day but i did just have 1285 in calories and i drank 40 ounces of water..now i think its time to get into bed..its 230 in the morning and i dont want to get up real late tomorrow..

so goodnight..