Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I feel like i have hit bottom
this is my nephew sean and his cover for his book that is coming out soon..go buy it this will help you so much..i hope it helps me..he lost 275 pounds in 26 months if you didnt already know that..the name of his book is Transformation Road the journey back from 505 pounds..
I know i havent been good about keeping up with this blog, in fact i really thought i was just going to let it go.i am so busy these days going to school and work and taking care of mom and trying to get my photography off the ground, that i have no time for myself. i know thats a really long sentence and probably not structured well but tonight i dont care, i am just writing.
i just feel like i have hit the bottom and no where to go. my nephew sean is coming out with his book which is exciting and i am very happy that he was able to get his weight off and i know i can do this..but i just dont feel like i can..does that even make sense?
i have gained back all the weight i had previously lost plus the weight i had already lost before that..so now i am actually close to the highest weight i have been..my weight is now 341..i lost a few pounds being really sick..i wouldnt advise it..lol
i am just so tired of being tired and sick and not being able to fit into chairs because people at the schools and at jobs dont realize that maybe we have bigger people than just what fits those little chairs..i have had to deal with this for 8 years now and i am really tired of it..
i just want to feel good again..i dont want to die early..i am only 43 and even though i dont have my own family i do still have my brother and sisters and my mom is still here..there should be so many reasons to want to live and get this weight off, why cant i feel like its the most important thing and just do it..
i had a really bad day today, and even though it was really bad i do remember not thinking about the food..that wasnt on my mind, now pop is another story..i think i am more of a pop drinker than a food addict to be truthful i can drink pop like its water..i have been trying to drink my water more the last few days..maybe by doing this i will get myself back into control..i sure hope so..i have to do something..
cause as sean says choose change before change chooses you, and it will be choosing me and it wont be good unless i do something now..