water..me drink water..!lol

i was playing around after i colored my hair..i like it..not too different ..

i think this is the way i feel right now..i cant seem to get going on the water..i am doing good about keeping on track with the calories..i just dont eat anymore after i have reached my limit..im doing okay there..its been so cold here this week that i cant seem to get out and walk..i need to exercise and quit talking about it and just do it..so before i go to sleep toight i am going to do my shake weight..6 minutes shouldnt hurt me in any way..so i will do it for tonight..

today we ended up at the stockade ..my sisters favorite place..i like it but i cant afford it right now so i wsnt too happy about going..but we went and i ate salad first and then i had brocali and the pot roast ..just the meat and then i had a roll..i did have a brownie and a piece of angel food cake and so i wasnt too bad..cause when i came home i didnt eat anything after that..so this was my meal of the day..i had eaten a cup of cereal and that was it..no reg.pop but no water either..i really need to get some water down me ..i came home and colored my hair tonight..my roots were starting to really become black and grey..so i had to do something..

i kinda feel better than i have been which is good..i need to get with it and stay with it..i was doing so well and then poof something stopped and i ballooned out again..it wasnt fun..believe me my self esteem went with it..but i feel better knowing i can control what i eat and how much i eat..that this is one thing i can do for myself..to feel better and once i look better i will feel better..so it just goes hand in hand..hope you all are having a good journey as well..i know there are alot of people who are out there doing the same thing i am right now and feeling just like me..like they will never get it off..believe me it can be done..we can do this..we just have to believe in ourselves enough and want it enough to do it..we have to if we want to live for as long as we are allowed to live..

so please dont think you are alone in this..we are all doing this together and it is a rough road ..but we will make it with Gods help and the help of our friends everywhere we will do this..
until tomorrow..make good choices im going tooo
kelli

i stayed on track today..

this is sean today at 230 pounds and sean when he was about 12..he started earlyin life being heavy..go to www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com

well today was a good day..i stayed on track and still had calories to go even when i was getting ready to be in bed..i got to 1300 calories and did good there..i havent started the water today nor have i started the exercise..i said i was going to last night but i didnt..i always find something else to do and i cant do that anymore...even if i am just doing something in my room ..i need to be doing it..i could be doing the shake weight..after all i bought it to work on my arms ..i might as well use it..

i will do something tomorrow and i will drink water too..these are important things to do and i need to put them into my daily schedule of things that are important to do..i didnt drink any reg. pop today but i did drink diet pop and i am really wanting to get off the pop altogether..i dont need the sweeteners and i dont need the sugar..so i dont need the pop..its something that i should look at as evil instead of something i cherish..because it doesnt do any good for me ..it only hurts..

well sean came back here today to weigh on the scales he started out on..for those of you who do not know sean ..he is my nephew/brother..my sisters child but we were raised together only 3 years apart..so we really are like brother and sister..but sean is the one who started this blogging and lost his weight doing it..he had a goal of 230 sept. 15,2008 ..he was 505 pounds when he started and today he weighed 230 pounds ..2 years and 2 months later..he is truly awesome and now he helps people along their journey..he is an inspiration to so many people..

sometimes when i think of him i end up thinking of the little boy that always wanted the same thing i had and always wanted to stay at home with me when i didnt want any one too..he was always an onery kid but when he ad i became 12 and 15 we decided to become friends and go against our parents..lol so we never told on each other after that..we were best buddies to each other then..

now as he is an older man ..i see his kids act like he did and they were just like he and i were..and then one day they became friends..that was cool..i am very proud of my little brother and i hope he knows that..i know our family ..well we have always been close at least the last 20 years and i know we all are very proud of sean and we love him very much..he is a smart and funny man with a big heart and compassion for everyone he sees..he truly wants to help people and i can see that in him..his girls are the same way..they truly care and i am so glad they do..i think it is so great the kind of example he is setting in front of his children..you doing great sean..and i am very proud to be your big sister....i love you brother and i hope i can do what you have just done..see were still kids..now i want what you have..lol funny isnt it.. lol

you all take care
kelli

i gained the weight back , but i have to get if off..

our fall weather is now turning into winter..

i know i keep going back and forth and i say one thing and end up doing another..its like i dont know what i am talking about or even care..like i am just talking and not meaning anything by it..well i do mean it..i just dont seem to know how to do it..or i am making it hard for me to do..i think that it is it..i am just making it hard..i mean sean did it and he made it the easiest thing in the world ..even though we know its not..but he lost it all in 2 years..i can do the same..i know i can i just have to be consistent thats the key..

i weighed today..oh my i weighed and wasnt too shocked just disappointed i guess..i weighed 322..i have gained back 26 pounds from when i had lost down to 296..i dont know what stopped me but something did..something stopped me bad ..cause i started to drink pop and didnt care about my calories anymore..and walking what was that..now when i go walk i will probably have to go back to a block the first time..i am just so disappointed in me..i could be closer to my goal by now and now i am starting over again..

well i have such great support on facebook and here..i know writing my blog everyday is something i need to do consistently as well..i need to be accountable for myself and for what i eat and drink..because drinking pop is the biggest addiction for me..i can leave some food alone but pop..let me at it...lol

today so far i have had 1130 calories ..i am at the calorie counting stage..i know i need to count carbs as well but i am going to make it as simple as possible and count my calories..i have had diet pop some not alot..and i will have water before the night is up..i ate roasted chicken ..what i ate with it is not the best in diet food but i am just counting calories so its how many calories i eat not what i eat that i am looking at today..

gaining this weight back just makes me feel like i am never going to get it off ..no matter how hard i try..but i cant feel like that..i cant give up on it..i know God is with me thru everything i do and everything that happens to me..and i know i have control over what i put into my mouth and how much i put into my mouth..so what i need to do is use the control i have and eat the right portions..its all portion control..its all mental how you think about it..if you can see yourself doing this then it will happen..but if you are around too much negative vibes you wont do this because you wont believe you can..

i believe i can now..i know i have too..i want too because i want to live..i want to see myself thin for once..i want my mamma to see me thin..my dad didnt get too but now i have a chance to show my momma what i would look like thin..i want to because i know i can do this and i want to do it..

i dont want to be full of talk..i dont want to be just a dreamer..i want this to be a realistic dream..my goal for right now is 2 pounds a week..i really think i can manage that goal ..and if i lose more then great but 2 pounds is what i am shooting for..i am going to walk or do some sort of exercise ..right now its so cold i cant seem to get out and walk..plus its raining..i want my legs to get better and stop swelling up everyday..since i gained the weight my legs have really swollen up and somedays i cant even put my shoes on..so i want that to go away..i want to be healthy..im too young to not be healthy..

im going to do this and do it for me..thats why i want to do it..for me!
thank you all for supporting me thru this..
think good thoughts..
kelli

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

oreo in one of his many poses..he was quite a character..

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..i can i know i can..this is something i have been hearing in my head all day..i know i can..i have faith that God is going to be with me all the way through this..i know He will..

i have had a bad couple of weeks..i got through it..but it wasnt fun..we had two family deaths within a couple of days and then two days ago..my cat oreo died actually was killed..we think he got hit by a car..he was bleeding on the side of his head..i have went through sort of an intervention with my friend..who has been so trying to get me to start again or just do something..i havent found a job and have student loans driving me crazy..but i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..

i have to believe this and keep saying it in my heart..i am so afraid i have gained my weight back that i lost before..my chin has come back and now i know if i go out and walk..i wont be able to walk more than a block..but i need to do that..i need to start..i wont get to the end until i start at the beginning..im gonna miss oreo when i walk..he was the one who always liked to walk with me..and he would ride with my sister..she was always walking with the walker so he would ride..he had some kittens before he died..but now the mother cat has taken them away and we dont know where they are..but we have sofie and tux..they are loyal..they have been here since we moved here 11 years ago..

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME..wow what a verse..something that means so much..i know God is with me through it all..and i am going to do this..i am going to be healthy and fit..it may not be right at the moment i want it to be ..but i will get there...it will happen..i dont want to let my friends and family down..but most of all i dont want to let myself down..and i will if i dont do something now..it wont come off by it self..we have to do this for ourselves ..so i am going to do this now..and keep going until its done..this is life not a diet..life..

have a wonderful sunday..
kelli