Monday, October 11, 2010
i feel fat..
me when i was 15 and me and sean with my dad when we were little..
i really feel fat today..i feel like i have gained all my weight back and now i have to start all over again..i just dont know how to keep doing this..i feel lost right now..everyone i know has been trying their hardest to get me back on track ..nobody wants me to die..i dont want too either, but i just dont know how to do this..i feel so lost..like i have wandered into the woods instead of being on the main highway to weightloss central....lol
i have been off the pop today..dont think i did badly on the calories but i dont think i did extremely well..i didnt walk and walking seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now..i dont know why..i was really going after it for a while..and now i cant walk without my legs swelling really badly and hurting just to walk..i dont even feel like doing these blogs much anymore..i think i have really hit bottom on this and i dont know how to get back up..i really have too ..i keep remembering my doctor told me i had no choice..that if i didnt do something now i wouldnt be here when i am fifty.. well 50 is not too far away..i really just have to do this..i have to start watching the calories and not making this such a mountain..
im just tired and i just dont know how to keep going ..even though i know i have to keep going..i did go to the doctor a couple of weeks ago..he did some blood tests and they came up that i am anemic and have to take iron and a vitamin..he didnt know what was causing the blood in the urine but it has stopped now..so i am not sure myself either..thank you all for the concern..
i hope you have a good monday..