Monday, October 25, 2010
well this has been a weekend..
this was our homecoming parade this weekend..and getting my mom and brother to go with me and my sister was quite the miracle in itself..so here are pictures of that day..it was fun..oh there is one picture here that is me and my cousins..and our mothers...we are first cousins..just a few of us here..i have alot of cousins..
here is the birthday boy..he turned a big 39 on saturday and we celebrated on sunday because he went to the homecoming game...without us...lol but it was fun..
well i know i havent been on here for a while..i have been having a bad weekend besides having 2 people in my family die within 3 days apart..we now have 2 funerals to attend..one is over with and the other one is this coming week..so watching my weight is something i havent been able to do very well lately...but then i have had some hate email the last couple of days that has really bothered me..i honestly do not know who this person is ...but it has bothered me that someone dislikes me so much that they would be as hurtful as this person was...
we all want to be liked and being liked is something i guess i was always insecure about..i couldnt see someone not liking me ..i try and be the nicest person i can and this person could not see how nice i really am and the kind of heart i have..
i need to stop thinking about this because it just makes it hurt more...i am trying to get back to watching the weight because i know i need too...i know if i dont i will be just the same as killing myself and for me i really dont need that...i havent felt like doing much of anything since this email and i need to stop letting this person have control like this..i need to let God take care of it and leave it alone....
i have been trying to eat alot of salads and trying to stay away from food i dont need..lately i just havent had a lot of luck with any of it ..frankly i just havent tried that hard..i dont know how to do this blogging anymore.i dot even feel like it..i know that this is my personal story of my ups and downs and its not supposed to be anything but my accountability to weight loss..but i am a very personable person..i get things out in the open..there isnt anything i dont mind talking about..thats just me, and if it helps someone else then i have done good by it..i like helping others, i always have..if i can i will..the first thing for me right now is to help myself..i need to help me by concentrating on getting back to walking and getting my self power back...i lost it the other night when i let this other person take it...
this person talked about how bad my teeth were and how sick they were of me taking pictures all the time and being pictures of me..and talked about my geriatric family and how this world doesnt revolve around me and my family...then they talked about how i cant get a man or even keep a man...how i put too much out there for people to see ...well i am putting it out there for you all to see..i am telling you all this so you will understand how awful i have felt this weekend..this is just a portion of the email..they also talked about how disrespectful i was by taking pictures at my cousins before service..at the park..it wasnt during the funeral it was at the park..
ther eis so much more in this email and i know i need to leave it behind me..i told the person i would accept the appology and i am going to have to and leave it alone..this person sounds like a lady and so i will say she said she was having problems with her parents and took it out on me...well whoopi do..we all have problems with people and we dont go crazy on someone else over it..
anyway i guess i will leave it here..i know she reads this blog because this was another problem she had with me..so if you dont like me then go away..you dont have to read about my life or look at my pictures..all of this is my business..not anyone elses...
i hope you all have a good week..i dont know when i will be on here again..maybe tomorrow maybe not..i dont know..