just thinkin.

As I sit here at my job again..this time just the evening shift..iam drinking my water and listening to the oldies station..not that iam old..but I like it better than rock these days..I read on my phone where oklahoma has become #6 in the
Nation for obese children....I hate that..I am so sad thinking of all the people that
Won't get this early enough and end up gone before they should..I would love to
Help as many people as I can to gain control of their choices..and that's what it is..
We just have to take control of our choices..I went to kfc today with my mom and my sisters and
Brother in law and my uncle came up..this is the day they have 2.49 countryfried steak dinner
And we used to always go on tuesdays to get it..I went but I got a piece of grilled chicken
And a corn cob..and a bisquit..so I had 440 calories in mine...that dinner is 870 calories altogether..
I couldn't believe it..no wonder I was so heavy..look at all the bad choices I made just to save a
Dollar..it was terrible..I know I will not do this again..

I started thinking about all the people who eat this kind of food on a daily basis..how
Can they do this to themselves and think they are doing okay..I never really thought about
Calories til now..and then look at the carbs..iam borderline diabetic which I'm not sure how close to a diabetic iam
But I do know that if I had kept eating the way I was ..I wouldn't be here now..I was on my way down..
Down to the wheelchair, and down to not ever being able to get myself back up..I was there..
My heaviest was just 2 years ago at 356 pounds and I don't think I will forget very soon how I felt then..
I couldn't breathe and I couldn't walk without the cane, I was miserable and lonely
Thought for sure I was going to die an old maid..and
who knows that's possible..but now I have a chance
Iam working with God and He is giving me stength everyday to keep going..

As I said before, I would really like to help people in anyway I can..I know how these people
Feel..and believe me I'm still there just getting closer to the other side and can't wait to get there..
How fun is that going to be..actually wearing a size 10 or smaller..wow what a day that will be..
I wish everyone could get it at the same time and the whole world lose weight together..what a nice thought..
I walked last night when I got back home and did a mile..I'm going to walk again tonight..I'm going after it now..its mine
This year is my time to change and if you all want to join me come right along..I've got plenty of room..
Have a great evening..
God Bless you
Kelli

another day, another nickel...

me tonight and the pretty sunset across the street..or across the sky..

Here iam sitting here at work ..I've been here since 1 and will be here til 10 tonight..long hours..really long..I don't get a lot of customers around here and really I don't know why..were close to walmart..why wouldn't we be busy..but anyway its a job..I don't get paid a lot but I've been doing it for 18 years and can do it in my sleep..so changing jobs for me is kinda scary if I can even find one these days..

I'm just wonderin what I'm going to eat tonight..all I have are the choices of burger king or if I want to run across the busy highway I can go to carl jr.s so I think I better stick with burger king..but I'm not liking them too well..but I can't starve..that's not good..iam already on my 3rd bottle of water and that holds 3 glasses of water in it..so I will hit 12 glasses tonight..that's a lot of water..I've already hit the bathroom 7 times today

..its something when you drink the water and then you have a water pill too..boy that really works..I'm going to walk tonight ..maybe this evening around here and get in I hope 2 miles..I need to step it up..I was so excited this morning..I was able to really weigh on our scales today..I couldn't believe it..as long as we have had these scales..I have never been able to weigh on them til now..that was a good feeling..I really know in my heart that this is it..I'm not going back again..I'm moving forward and keep going..gonna lose it all and see what happens..I know this year is just starting and gonna be a great year..

So far I've only had 300 calories so I need to get some calories down me..but I'm enjoying this ..its simple once you get used to what you have to do..its not that hard..just a constant effort to keep going..and that is the hard part sometimes..I guess I better get off here for a few minutes..you all have a good evening..
God bless you all
Kelli

a day to rest and more ham than i need..

i had a great day yesterday and it was a good day today as well..but today we had a reunion to go to, and a ham and bean supper at home..a little out of our routine..so this was a day where i had to guesstimate the calories and i was lucky i had sean here to help me with it.of course i have my handy calorie counter on my phone that i use but he knows more about these calories than i could ever imagine he would..so i asked him what he thought..after church today we headed home for a few minutes and then over to the fairgrounds to have a family reunion with my moms cousins which i guess are mine too..hehe but we dont know alot of these people and sometimes it feels kinda weird to go to a place where you feel like a stranger..but today felt good..both of my sisters and my mom and my uncle went and we came for my moms side of the family..it was a nice reunion and so many people were there today..usually not alot attends anymore..but today it was a big crowd..

i took alot of pictures of course and got into some of them as well..it was fun and we saw people that are getting older and are my moms first cousins so i took pictures of all of them..they still had food there and i was hungry..so i went over and got a bite of two or three items and a very very small piece of cake..which looked so good i dare not turn it down..so then we went home and it was almost time to eat..oh boy here are the ham and beans..ummmm they were good and still are..we still have some for tomorrow and will probably eat a little more then too..but after i ate a couple of pieces of ham and a few beans ..i then asked sean what he thought the calories were and he said probably around 240 and he would be about right..i looked it up tonight and it was 180 for a cup and i didnt even have a cup..it was just on my plate..so i didnt have alot then..but i went back for the ham..i love ham and we never get ham..probably for this reason...and so i ate too many pieces of ham tonight and my stomach hurt and hurt..i am still hurting from the ham..i ended up laying down and did for a while ..but i decided i had to get up and go walk at least a little bit..so i did..i walked a half mile and then the storms started in around here..which is nice since it has been so hot..sean went to boomer and walked and i did a half mile..gotta get back to walking more..i hope tomorrow..

but this has been my day..sorta quiet..i guess thats good..maybe restful..im working all day tomorrow so we'll see how much walking i get in..hope you all have a great monday..seeya later..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU
KELLI

wow what a birthday..a day in control..what a nice gft..

we were all taking our pictures with the big bear..isnt he cute..

this has been the most amazing day..it has been so much fun..we started out last night watching the western and at counting down to midnight was fun and my family sang happy birthday to me..then we got up today and before we went anywhere i cleaned the house some..our sister and brother in law came tonight for a week so we were cleaning for the last few days..but around 3 we went to the rocky mountain chocolate factory and it was so cool..they had every kind of chocolate you could imagine..they even had chocolate potato chips..can you imagine..so my sister and i got a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cone..all i wanted..i figured the calories must have been around 450 so i counted it like that..i was giving myself 1600 and hoping i would stay within that..i got a free chocolate truffell and i gave it to my brother so he could taste it too..im not into the troufells but he liked it..i just wanted ice cream..hehe

so we were there for about an hour and looked around and i took lots of pictures..it was great..i really had fun..we even had our picture with the big bear outside too..hehe and so then we went home for an hour before we went to cici's ..some of our cousins came around that we didnt know was in town ..of course we should have because we have a reunion tomorrow for my moms cousins..and so we will be there for a little while ..anyway we visited for an hour and then we were off to cici's..i was really conscious of this place now..in my mind i was saying you can do this kelli..you know you can..and guess what i did..i did do it..

i walked in and when i got my buffet, i went over and started down the line and went for the pasta first ..but then i stopped and said no you dont need extra pizza..i was going to order the supreme thin pizza and eat 2 slices and thats it..and thats what i did..i went to the salad and ate that without the dressing..and ate the little bowl of pasta and then i even went over and got the brownies myself for everyone but not me..! i didnt get a brownie and i always do..i didnt do a cinnomon roll either and i always do 1, 2, 3 and sometimes 4..i didnt do any...i didnt need it and it was added calories..i had an 1/8 of the cake which is 230 calories and i left it at that...wow i did good..i really did..i was so pleased..

when we came home then a few minutes later i went with my friend glen and he and i ended up at braums..he bought us banana splits..i had done well and still had 220 calories to hit the 1600 but i knew this was going to do something..but to my surprise i didnt eat even half of it..he said he didnt want me to eat it all if i didnt want it..and as much as i wanted it..i didnt want all those calories..so i threw it away..i ate some of it but most of it went into the trash..so im not sure how many calories i ate there but i did well just the same..i even drank 5 glasses of water along with all the sweets but it was a good day..all day long it was a good day..i enjoyed it and plan on having a blast all year long til my next birthday..it was amazing ..and all my fb friends were amazing as well..it was a happy birthday for sure..i enjoyed it and will always remember it..now onto next year..!
GOODNIGHT AND GOD BLESS..
KELLI

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Get your own

its my birthday and i'll party if i want too..party if i want too..you would party too if it happened too you..! hehe

here is the perfect gift for any birthday..a big hug..and its free!


this is who we watched tonight..el dorado..cant beat john wayne!

well today june 26th is my birthday..iam 42 years young..and thats it young..i feel young at least i did til i layed down on the couch to watch a western tonight and couldnt get back up without my back going into pain..wow when did i get this old..i felt like i was getting old when that happened..and iam not..im as old as my mom was when she had me..she was 41 and i was the last of the crew..so i shouldnt feel old..no kids and no husband to take care of ..i should feel as young as i can..and sometimes i do..i know getting this weight off will help me feel even younger..i already feel so much better than i did even 4 months ago..now i can walk a mile in 20 minutes..when i started it took me an hour to walk a mile..i was going pretty slow..but now i just briskly walk..its a nice feeling to get a workout like that..tonight i went out and walked my mile ..i did it after dark and really wasnt feeling well when i did it..but i thought i have to get in at least a mile..and so i did..last night i did a mile and a half after dark..and really felt it..it was good..i was sweatin all over the place..

i did well with the calories last night but tonight friday night not too great..if i had gone back and told the burger king people about the mistake then maybe my night would have been better calorie wise but i didnt and so here iam at 1800 calories for the day..i had ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and they ended up giving me a breaded chicken sandwich and i didnt even like it..but i was so sick drom the heat and the sweets that i didnt go back and tell them..i was at work and had to walk over there and i really didnt feel like walking back over so i ate it anyway..but i had already had a snocone a tiny one but one just the same and it made me sick..i cant do sweets anymore..i got sick last night too..but i have been drinking my water..got 9 glasses down me tonight and 6 down me last night..doing good on the water..

i am going to the chocolate factory tomorrow and have a dip of ice cream..thats all i want ..i really just want to see the place.. and then later on we are going to cici's and have some pizza..i have a free buffet..i dont think i will have much pizza though..i am going to try and make it more salad and a piece maybe..iam not too big on their pizza but were not the richest family right now so its good..

i feel good about this year..i know this is going to be an awesome year..something i have never experienced before ..losing all my weight and keeping it off.. i have never actually lost a big amount before except for when i was on the fen fen..then i had lost 75 pounds and gained back 100..so this time no diet drugs..just good old fashioned work..i really feel this is a year like none before ..i am going to do my very best to make it that way..hopefully the good Lord will help me see it that way..

well i havent done a whole lot except work and clean..my sister is coming in from michigan sunday so were cleaning the house real good..well i will post birthday pictures tomorrow night..hope you all have a wonderful saturday..i know iam going too..seeya all later..
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
KELLI

not an ordinary day...reached my first goal..whoohoo!

okay this is me and my friend lisa ..isnt she pretty...and then me today at 296..whoohoo and this is our sun going down and the storm moving in..

well i dont think this day could have gotten any better if it tried super hard too..this has been a wonderful day..i got up knowing i was going to make this an awesome day and the good Lord provided a super great day..when we got up to go do our normal thing which we need to try and do something else..wendys has so many carbs in the food..and the sodium..its awful..but we watch the calories and really we are going to have to watch the carbs and sodium intake too..

but before we did that.i wanted to go weigh..i just wanted to see how close i am to what i wanted..i know the last time i weighed it was disappointing and it had said i had gained..but not today! wow..i looked at those scales and looked again..296..WOW 296..CAN YOU BELIEVE IT..296..hehe..i wanted so badly to be under 300 by my birthday and now i am 296..i really couldnt get over it..i had a 9 pound loss in a week...wow!

so after i stared at it for a minute then i realized i was under 300..i hadnt been under 300 since i was 30..and this saturday i will be 42..so 12 years..wow it sure makes a difference..so i ran out to the car with the biggest smile on my face and my sister knew something was up..it was amazing..and here lately i was getting all worried that i wasnt losing anything at all..

this was my water pill and water and walking and watching the calories..you do everything together and whoohoo it comes off..so now iam in twoturville..whoohoo!

well as soon as i got somewhere i posted it on my fb and told the whole world..it was quite exciting...hehe everyone got so excited and was just so happy..i was estatic..i could not believe it all day...i went to work and i had only been there for an hour and a friend of mine came to meet me from facebook..she lives in another town around here and was in town to do some shopping..and wanted to come see me..we hadnt met til now and wow we are pretty much alike..we talked for an hour and a half and i didnt have one customer the whole time..i couldnt believe it ..i have not had an ordinary day..she is so sweet and a really great lady and i enjoyed the visit so much..we had to take a picture..just had too..hehe

then i was going to walk when i got home tonight but we are getting a storm in now and it had been thundering and lightening all evening so my walk is gone til tomorrow..i am really trying to see where i would like to go for my birthday..i know were going to cici's that evening ..but i wanted to go to the chocolate factory and just go in and look around ..its on main street here in town and i wasnt going to eat alot of chocolate ..probably share something..i dont know..my friend has been trying to talk me out of it because its like torture ..why go into the place if were not going to eat something there is what he is saying..but i dont know maybe maybe not..im still debating..but i know in my heart i do not want to gain this weight back again..not again..so now its good choices and being careful and cautious about everything..i have to watch it ..but what a day! it couldnt get any better today if it tried too..hehe...plus i drank 9 glasses of water today..whoohoo! water is good! pop is bad! hehe

so now its sleepy time..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU
KELLI

noticing how much of a emotional eater iam..

this is the way i feel right now..like nothing is gonna ever happen..

today had been a good day..nothing out of the ordinary..pretty much like everyday..but i went to work this evening and decided since i was just sitting around..that this wasnt getting me anywhere..so i thought okay..i can get up and walk in place ..any movement is better than none..so i did and i actually did a mile and some exercises for my waist and legs and arms..all at the same time..it wasnt a busy day as usual and i needed something to do..i am always caught up with work there so i thought exercise would be the best thing..and it was..

it would have been a average day except for my emotions tonight..iam noticing how emotional i get after something happens that ends up hurting me..i did well though considering i could have eaten a snocone with the works but i didnt..i didnt eat anything while i was at work..in fact while i was at work i had only had 810 calories at that time and still needed to get to 1200 at least..and even now i havent gotten there..im close but not yet..i left work closed it down and was going home and decided i needed yogurt..so here is the ice cream..except its yogurt so its not as bad..but i am thinking here ..everytime something happens to me..whether my heart gets broken or something else i turn to ice cream..i always have ..i knew i had the calories and i needed something to eat..but i should have gotten something more nutritious and not a comfort food like i did..but iam now looking at it and seeing how anytime i hurt, i need comfort and that is the chocolate..it goes all the way back to when i was a kid..i always needed chocolate..i even sucked my thumb til i was 12 because i was bored and thought of my thumb as chocolate..i really did, sounds silly i know but i used to imagine it being a chocolate thumb..hehe

iam trying to use my judgment and eat when i need to and not when i feel bad..i dont want to be an emotional eater..you never know what your eating when your like that..you just eat because something inside you is hurting..but tonight i caught myself after that and came home and walked..i did another mile around my home and it was hot..i did it in 22 minutes..so i was moving pretty fast..so even though i ate the yogurt..i still worked it off..i have done 2 miles tonight and about an hour of exercise today..i drank 6 glasses of water and ate 1180 calories altogether..so really i didnt do badly..its just seeing what brings the onset of junk food on for me..is just starting to sink into my head..i think its important to know what brings these things on and try our best to steer away from it the next time..i know i am always going to have a problem of some sort that will make me wanna eat ..but maybe next time i will be able to see it ahead of time and realize that food doesnt do me any favors in the long run...we have to eat..but we dont have to live to eat..
my uncle always told us in my family how we always lived to eat and he always eat to live..he was 5 foot 8 and 110 pounds and couldnt gain a pound if he tried..and sometimes he tried really hard to gain a pound and we would always gain it with him..he lived with us and he was always cooking omelets, probably where sean got the omelet making from...he was good at it..but he would always get on to me and slap my hand if i tried to get into the fridge when i didnt need too..he would say you dont need that..but uncle jim im hungry..no your not..you need to lose some weight not gain it..he was a good uncle and probably my favorite..but it was my fridge and he wouldnt let me in it..hehe

i know he would be proud of sean and i and susie now ..he is gone and has been since i was 23..but he was a good uncle..i want to get to that place where i just eat to live instead of live to eat..i know i will someday soon..but i have along way to go..i think i did good tonight though..i was upset and instead of eating the house down, i went out and walked..a better solution..i will be better tomorrow and have an even better day..hope you all do too..
goodnight and GOD BLESS YOU
KELLI