Thursday, September 16, 2010
im not sure why i am not trying as hard as i should!
i made this of my nephew sean today..he is amazing..going from 505 to 234 is a miricle..and God allowed him to do it..
i know the title sounds like a statement..and it is actually..its the main point for this blog tonight..im just not sure why iam not giving it my all..why am i staying at this weight and even gaining back up to 300..why arent i excited about losing and keep going..i keep thinking i will get right back on track and then i dont..and i talk about it everytime i write a blog..i feel like i am being a big talker and not a doer..
i dont like to just talk, i never have liked it when people just talked about what they were going to do all the time..i actually would rather just do and not talk about it at all..in fact it took me along time to start writing this blog because i just didnt think it would help me..why would writing my feelings down help me lose weight..well i think mentally it does help ..it helps me to understand where iam at in my mind, and what is going on to get me where i need to be..
tonight i just didnt walk..i made the choice to not do it and i didnt do it..i didnt drink my water and i didnt watch the calories..i am finding myself right back in the same boat i was before i started losing..i am seeing myself being stressed and my mentality is just i am not caring ..even though i do care it certainly looks like i dont by the way i am doing things right now..i guess i am just really stressed...
i have got to do this..i have to for me ..for my health..i cant just stop because i feel like it..this is a life or death situation for me..my walking is a life or death situation for me...so i will have to get this into my head that its not that hard..just walk and drink water and 1300 calories..thats all its really simple..so how come i cant see it as clearly as i did before..i need some help with this..i just cant do it by myself...
enjoy the night..