Saturday, September 25, 2010

im on my way back


me and my momma at charlies today..

i know i have been gone for a week now and thats not good..i felt so good on monday but then i seemed to slip up the rest of the week..i havent gotten started walking yet either and i need to so bad, or i am going to be so swollen i wont be able to walk again..

i know i am doing wrong here..i know i am not treating myself right..this is a choice and i take full responsibility for it..i have ruined this week myself...i want to get back on track and by doing that i have to stop eating the ice cream like i have been..not altogether but everyday yes...i need to stop with the pop..i cant let myself go as george strait sings she let herself go..yea i have and now i am feeling it..i am seeing it too..my chin is coming back at me and i hate that..

is drinking reg.pop so important to me that i end up killing myself..no its not..but i seem to think it is..i seem to put the food and pop way up there on the ladder and i shouldnt..yes we need to eat and drink but not so much we kill ourself..

i havent felt good all week and i am now out of work and looking for a job..so i am stressed but i cant let the stress get to me.i have to put it in a different catagory..it has to be separate...if i dont make it separate ..i will keep doing the same thing over and over again..i cant so that..but i do have to go to the doctor monday..im bleeding in my urine really bad so please pray for me..this has been happening all week long..so i havent felt well..

but i have to start walking again and drinking my water and really watching the calories..i noticed with myself today i didnt even think about how many calories i was having and that is so not good...

i am going to bed now..goodnight
enjoy your sunday..
kelli

6 comments:

  1. kelli, cap the cals at 1800. buy some diet soda and go for a short walk. You can do this. It isnt important enough to die for. I know it would break your ma's heart and sean's heart if something were to happen to you. You have to matter to you too. You do matter. Job or not.
    okay.
    I believe you can do this, but you have to do it for you.
    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kelli, it is all good, sister. It is a week that could have been better used. No joke. That's for real. But it's not the absolute worst thing you could've done with the week either. (You know I know, girl!) So breathe. Sit quietly for a bit. Think about what you want to do next. Do something that takes care of your spirit today; call a girlfriend that helps you laugh at yourself, watch a show that makes you giggle, read the Bible (or whatever you rely on for spiritual sustenance). Then make a list of the next 3 things you need to do to get a few wins under your belt. And, last but not least, call on me if you need me! We are in this together.

    All my love to you.
    Becky from
    http://mywalkfromflabtofab.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kelli. I'm glad you posted and are going to a doctor Monday. You sound depressed so be sure and tell him/her that. Maybe a short term antidepressant would be beneficial and there are some that help with weight loss. Take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Kelli, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Chris is right, don't feel like you have to be perfect all at once. Take tiny steps. Diet soda this week, small walks, drink some water, eat some good veggies.

    I'm really worried about your health. I don't know what blood in your urine means but it can't be good. I'm also afraid that you are diabetic. Blurry vision is really not normal. Make sure you take a list of symptoms to your Dr. and good luck! Now's a good time to make your health a priority.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hope you get back on track, I NEVER drink regular soda. I allow myself one diet a day and that is it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hang tough! Sometimes it is just so hard to keep it all pulled together. Sometimes it is just downright impossible. So, concentrate on what it is you can keep pulled together and focus on that (or those).

    You probably should see your doctor. Get yourself checked out. Keep us posted, and God Bless you.

    P.S. your Mum is cute!

    Margie M. writes at:
    www.myhealthylivingthruweightcontrol.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete