Wednesday, June 16, 2010
well i came close to letting worry get the best of me..
i got up this morning and it was okay..just another day only it was nice and sunny out so i knew i was going to work..but i got a phone call from one of the student loan places that is getting ready to become due next month since i havent been in class this last semester..well i preceded to tell them that i was going to be back in class soon and i would then need a inschool deferrment..okay when that happens but this is a private loan in which my brother is a cosigner and with private loans you dont have all the options that you have with all the federal loans..so they said i would need to start paying them back come dec and next april..WOW! a shocker..i didnt know i had to pay it while i was in school..
well this started my day going down hill..my payment was 463.00 i couldnt believe it..with all the other things i pay and then this too..i have to get a full time job even while iam in school..there is no other way to do this..i started worrying and havent stopped worrying yet..i worried so much today, that i gave myself a migraine..i was hurting so bad i ate 2 kiddie size snocones and 220 calories in candy..then i went after work and had a ice cream cone..i was struggling and thought i was going to lose it..i didnt drink any reg.pop and did drink some water today..not a lot but some..i was thinking all day long and my friends on fb were trying to help me and my friend i always go see was being very comforting to me..he was trying to help me so much..he hated to see me the way i was i could just see it in his eyes..i overate and now i have to get back on track..i have 3 more semesters before i graduate with a bachelors degree and then i hope i can find a good paying job to be able to pay these loans..i never got them with any intentions of not paying them back..but it is a real shock when you have to start earlier than you think..so now i am going to have to stay focused on this or i will not get this weight off and then i may end up in a wheelchair and i am not going to do that..i cant go back..i have to move forward and i have to depend on God for the help i need...He will provide for me as long as i ask for it..
well i will start again tomorrow and just try and focus again and hope i can find a job soon..so pray for me that i will..
and God BLESS YOU ALL