Wednesday, June 16, 2010

well i came close to letting worry get the best of me..

i got up this morning and it was okay..just another day only it was nice and sunny out so i knew i was going to work..but i got a phone call from one of the student loan places that is getting ready to become due next month since i havent been in class this last semester..well i preceded to tell them that i was going to be back in class soon and i would then need a inschool deferrment..okay when that happens but this is a private loan in which my brother is a cosigner and with private loans you dont have all the options that you have with all the federal they said i would need to start paying them back come dec and next april..WOW! a shocker..i didnt know i had to pay it while i was in school..

well this started my day going down payment was 463.00 i couldnt believe it..with all the other things i pay and then this too..i have to get a full time job even while iam in school..there is no other way to do this..i started worrying and havent stopped worrying yet..i worried so much today, that i gave myself a migraine..i was hurting so bad i ate 2 kiddie size snocones and 220 calories in candy..then i went after work and had a ice cream cone..i was struggling and thought i was going to lose it..i didnt drink any reg.pop and did drink some water today..not a lot but some..i was thinking all day long and my friends on fb were trying to help me and my friend i always go see was being very comforting to me..he was trying to help me so much..he hated to see me the way i was i could just see it in his eyes..i overate and now i have to get back on track..i have 3 more semesters before i graduate with a bachelors degree and then i hope i can find a good paying job to be able to pay these loans..i never got them with any intentions of not paying them back..but it is a real shock when you have to start earlier than you now i am going to have to stay focused on this or i will not get this weight off and then i may end up in a wheelchair and i am not going to do that..i cant go back..i have to move forward and i have to depend on God for the help i need...He will provide for me as long as i ask for it..

well i will start again tomorrow and just try and focus again and hope i can find a job pray for me that i will..


  1. I love you sis. I know that it's hard to stay focused in the face of tremendous stress--but something we must always remember: We can't make a situation better by doing something that makes us feel bad. Losing a grip on our good choices only compounds the negative emotional overload.

    Stay focused sis---you have wonderful things in your future, you'll get there...just take a deep breath and confidently move forward. I love you,


  2. Have I told you lately how incredible you're doing? Seriously---you're looking great Kelli, and it only gets better from here...This positive direction in your life can make profound, life-changing differences in everything you do...I love you sis and I'm sooooo proud of you.


  3. Sean is so right. You do look amazing. I am also very very proud of you. Sounds like you had a very stressful day and I know how difficult that can be. It is so easy to turn to food but learning to cope in other ways is one of the main keys to dealing with your weight and keeping it off.

    I know it is much easier said than done. And everyone copes in different ways so there is not one simple easy fix. For me exercise has been helping. I take out a lot of my aggression that way. I also love to read both books and magazines and that takes my mind off from my worries. Try to find something that works for you. Even breathing techniques can do wonders.

    I too have student loans, quite a bit of them actually. The first thing I would do if I were you is to call your lender back and talk to someone in management. They can work with you and I guarantee you that they will. Even if the loan is a private loan they will work something out for you to not pay while in school. If worse comes to worse they might just have you pay on the interest while in school. If not they should at least work with you on the payment amount.

    I have had lots of issues with my loans and I was an idiot and defaulted on one of my loans but I finally have everything squared away and I am back on track and have deferments while still in school. Even on a private loan that I have, I do not pay anything until I graduate. Trust me you might have to call a few times and always insist on talking to a manager. Just be assertive and let them know that you do intend to pay but you need to work something out until you graduate. They will work with you.

    Have a stress-free day today for me?
    Oh and by the way I am planning to send you the clothes this week. I was going to last week but ran out of money so I will send them this Friday when I get paid.


  4. I gave you an award today over at my blog!

    Congrats! I love your posts.