Saturday, August 7, 2010

i messed up today..





okay these pictures are of me 3 years ago the day before my dad died..my dad doing what he liked to do best sitting in his chair watching westerns..my mom just recently.. and my moms parents..my grandma and grandpa..

boy did i mess up today..i am going to have to quit going thru the drive thru..i cant do this anymore..i messed up so bad today..but i am not going to let it stop me..i wont mess up tomorrow..this will just be a day off i guess..cause i dont even want to say how many calories i think i just ate..

what it is ..i went to braums right before i came to work..now really i wasnt hungry but i was getting something to go for later and ended up eating it now..at least half of it..im saving the other half for later..but i got a combo meal with med.fries and a drink..real dr.pepper..i know i cant go back to that..and i got a 1/3 pounder..the big sandwich..if that wasnt enough..i wanted ice cream so i got a peanut butter cup mix..loaded with calories...im sure its loaded..so now i am here at work where i know i am not going to burn enough calories to eat this..but i did anyway..i ate it and it wasnt that good..not when i know it was loaded with calories and sugar..just not the good tastes it used to have when i didnt care what it had in it or how many calories it was..and today i acted the same way..like i didnt care ..just ordered it and went..

well that is going to stop..i cant do that and expect to get anything off..no more pop and no more ice cream and no more burgers for me..none..i cant do this ..i cant keep lying to myself and say im doing it if i keep going thru the window and getting ice cream and burgers...and why do i keep doing this anyway..? am i depressed because i cant walk outside..? am i depressed because my knees are giving me pain and i cant walk as good as i did..? i dont know maybe i am..maybe i dont feel like i can get it off ..but i am going to try and do my best..i have too ..i have to try i cant just give up..i cant go back to the ways i was before..i didnt feel good then..why would i want to go back to that..?

well, today i ate it and messed up..tomorrow i start it again..and i stay with it..no more messing up for me..no more eating what i shouldnt eat and drinking what i shouldnt drink..water is my friend and salads are my friends ..no ice cream..

have a good saturday..
kelli

11 comments:

  1. Well, you know you can get it off, because you've been doing so well so far. I've had many slips in the past month, but all we can do is keep going day after day, choice after choice.

    After all, is there a better alternative?

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  2. Remember how good you feel mentally & physically when you don't "slip." The payoff is far greater and lasts WAY longer than the immediate perceived payoff to giving into a craving that you know is not what you truly desire.

    Hang in there & be good to yourself--beating yourself up serves no purpose--treat yourself and speak to yourself the way you would to a good friend. So you slipped - big deal.

    Every minute we are alive is a chance to start fresh. We all fall - it's the rising that makes us great. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    my best,
    Erin

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  3. hey kelli,
    You should try to get in the habit of going grocery shopping for food to brownbag....going through the drive through is something I don't hardly EVER DO.
    SeEt yourself up for success by clearing your environment..and not making your weight loss dependant on exterior factors.
    eliminate the ties of weight to outcome.
    What do I mean by that.
    Eat right and exercise and disregard the scale.
    Eat right and exercise and don't count on getting a boyfriend at the end of the road.
    I mean, make eating right and exercising independent of anything other than eating right and exercising.
    Do it because it's what you do now.
    Not because it's going to get you something.
    Do it for the same reason you give money to charities.
    Do it the same way you would help an old person carry their groceries.
    Do it because it's what's best for you, irregardless of anything else in the universe.
    And you don't start tomorrow...You start that now.
    Hugs.

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  4. You've got it - no burger order is going to fix whatever is making you feel depressed. Food just does not have the ability to fix those problems and it lies to us, over and over, that it does have that ability. Only God can feed the soul! I know you'll get back on track and remember to forgive yourself for today!

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  5. Kelli, I agree with everything cmoursler wrote. But what I would emphasize to you is, you should think ahead and prepare your meals to brownbag when you know you will have to eat somewhere other than home. I don't know if you live alone, but I do know it is not easy to cook for two people, much less one. Husband and I eat a lot of leftovers. Luckily, he doesn't mind leftovers. Perhaps you could cook just two meals at home and then fix individual containers for you to carry to work. Maybe you do not have a way to warm them up. But you could take a cooler or cold lunch bag. Egg salad, chicken salad, wraps, grilled chicken with lettuce and tomato on multi grain with some carrot and celery sticks. An apple or banana. Yogurt or pudding cups.

    If you truly do want to stop this drive-thru eating you are doing, then you will be willing to make the effort to prepare at least some of your meals yourself. I cannot do the drive-thru thing because I will do exactly what you are doing--overeating and eating the wrong foods.

    I apologize if I seem harsh, but you have asked us to tell you the truth. I follow your blog and keep reading about the drive-thru food and the pizza and restaurant food. We all have days when for whatever reason, we are just off track. Please, please do not keep doing this to yourself. As cmoursler says, don't start tomorrow, start NOW.

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  6. Yep, I agree with the rest. Stay completely away from drive-thru windows if that is a trigger area that will cause overeating. It is not easy and it takes a lot of self-discipline, but soooooo worth it. I've been reading you for a while and I know you can do it. You've already come so far!

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  7. I agree with the above posters. I think you need to skip the drive throughs all together and bring healthy snacks with you. I have stayed on track because I stopped eating anything fast food or take out. I cook a lot now and it is time consuming but I feel more energized and full when I eat my own food.
    Don't let 1 slip up get you down! At least you caught it early before it turned into a down ward spiral.
    Good luck :)

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  8. I think everyone has said it- plan ahead and don't beat yourself up for a slip. Do you cook, Kelli? Planning menus and all meals and snacks really keeps me on track. I find when I don't, I spend too much money and don't have good food choices!

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  9. Hi Kelli,

    Just found your blog and can't wait to get caught up on your journey. You look great and have made such progress.

    I agree with what the others have said. Just last evening, due to a stressful situation within my extended family, I found myself alone and just itching to munch. Had there been ANYTHING in the house (i.e. chips, cookies, ice cream, etc) I would have been chowing down. I ended up eating a few MORE grapes than I should have along with a few MORE almonds than I should have, but still much better off than what it could have been. I also sat down to my computer and read blogs until I fell asleep.

    Yep, stay away from the temptation and your chances of success skyrocket.

    I'll be back to your blog.

    Sharon
    www.gainsandlosseslifethroughsharonseyes.blogspot.com

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  10. Actually you are doing so much better then most people can! You even are not in denial about it when it happens. You rock and will overcome with enough belief in yourself and faith in His guidence.
    We copied the picture of Greg's, and your grandparents. We are not sure we have it...but, it will be great to have now on the hard drive to organize!

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  11. WE all slip Kelli...don't beat yourself up too bad, ok? Just get right back on that horse. Yes, you CAN do this and yes you WILL. Also...I don't want you to fall in the habit of thinking of food as "good" or "bad". You know how well Sean's approach worked for him...and he says no food is off limits. I love ice cream, too. Thank God I found the little Weight Watchers ice cream cups....just had one a few minutes ago. They're only 2 WW points, or I think 140 cals...but it's the perfect sized portion if you want ice cream...and because the calories are reasonable for a dessert, you can eat it w/o any guilt. I highly suggest them! Just don't think you have to eat salads the rest of your life, because you don't. I would say though that you definitely need to cut out the drive-thrus as much as possible....yes, Sean used to eat at them a good bit when he first started, but we've all seen how his choices have evolved into healthier things and less drive-thru over time. You can do the same thing....I know you can. Email me anytime girl...I'm here for you. :)

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