Saturday, May 15, 2010
i made 2 and a 1/2 miles tonight..yea!
these are all pictures of my family way back when we were at the heaviest.i think it must have been back in 2001 or 2002..somewhere in there..boy we let ourselves go..im sure glad we got a hold of ourselves now..
i actually walked twice tonight and the first time around i made a mile and a half..i was so excited..i knew i needed to step it up from last night, but i didnt know just when i would really feel like doing it..but today i thought well your not tired, so why dont you go around a couple more times and see if you can make it..and i could..i was tired then..whew was i tired..i was sweatin when i went in..
so when we came back from charlies chicken..this is 3.99 chicken fried steak day..and yes i said chicken fried steak..but i didnt have any gravy and the chicken fried steak was only 190 calories..then i shared the mashed potatoes with my brother and no gravy there either..so i ended up with 470 calories with this meal.i had a serving of rice and a roll and half a serving of mashed potatoes..i know tooo much starch..but its once a week..its a change..anyway we went around the lake and over to braums to get our yogurt cone...and then home..it has been a cloudy day and kinda humid today..but we didnt open up again ..i think he is waiting til next week to make sure it isnt bad weather anymore..but as we got home..i thought well i need to do another mile..so off i went to do another mile..and i made it..i did 2 and a half miles in 65 minutes..that wasnt too bad..not the best for me but not too bad..i am wanting to do 3 miles in 70 minutes but that will take time..
i was tired again..but i sure do enjoy the walking..it really feels good to get out there and exercise...i havent been doing anything else today..just watching t.v. and exercising..i feel better today..i dont know what it was, but it hit me fast..i was looking at all my old pictures last night after i did my blog and thought man i dont ever want to go back to that again...iam trying to find pictures and music to do a photoshow as part of the requirements for the blog awards..i like doing that kind of stuff but iam finding it to be kinda hard to come up with my own pics...but i will and get it posted on here..lol
i have so many pictures and each one reminds me of different times in my life..and then i think was i actually happy or was i pretending to be happy..how could i have felt good at the weight i was at..how could i even think men would be attracted to me at this weight..i remember meeting a guy here in town who was and is a very cute guy, and i was walking on a cane at the time and thought okay iam a nice person we have alot in common why wouldnt he like me and want to go out with me..we met for lunch and talked for a while and we did hit it off..but looking back at the pictures, why would i think this guy would even be interested in me..i was 356 pounds. it made me upset when he just wanted to be friends..i knew it was my weight..he said it wasnt all that but i knew it was..so i thought well if he cant see past my weight into my heart, then he isnt the one i need..it hurt though..it hurt to go through it with every man i have ever had a crush on or thought i was in love with..enough to even make me cry as i write it down..
i dont ever want to go back to this weight again..not ever..i see my looks getting better and i think my personality is the same..i have always had a good personality and i have always had a good heart..and i know one day something will happen if its supposed too..oh he was the one who introduced me to the guy i was going to marry later on but didnt..so he and i did stay friends for awhile..but he got married and things changed..i know one day it will happen..i just have to keep telling myself that and praying for it...
i really cant wait to see what i look like at 130 pounds..it will be so exciting to be that weight and now iam also growing my hair long ..so we will see how much i am really going to change..this has been a good day..i ended with 1350 in calories and walked twice so i think i burned a few off today..i guess i better get ready for church tomorrow..seeyou all then..
GOD BLESS YOU ALL