Thursday, March 4, 2010
my journey to a new life..
i havent been doing this for a long time..but i feel like it is something i need to do. my nephew has been doing this for a long time now and has lost 242 pounds and we are so proud of him..i know i can do the same..i have been heavy for most of my life..i was okay in high school,never the real skinny kid but 150 pounds til i was 18..then when i hit 18 and i was by myself in california ..it just skyrocketed..i was told to lose 30 more pounds and what did i do..go put on 30 more pounds..lol well i was homesick and 18 and had never been away from my family til then..i can make up all kinds of excuses why i gained the weight, and i still make up excuses..its been a bad day..i have already broke it why not keep eating..lol well now its up to me to stop making excuses and start doing something..
i have to this time..i have no choice, and really do i want to stay this heavy the rest of my life..NO I DONT! i dont want to ever be this big again..i weigh 315 now..i did weigh 356 a year ago..so i have lost some and will lose from now on..i started watching my calories again 10 days ago and have started walking again..i have bad knees and see another excuse..i could come up with excuses all day! lol but from now on its a healthier life or no life at all...i am 41 years old and would like to see 51 years old..and my doctor said if i didnt do this now i wouldnt see 50..so something has to give..
yaknow with my nephew losing all year, you would think i would have been so pumped i would lose it with him..but i guess each person has to do it themselves..and with the good Lord giving me the strength i need everyday..i will do it..He helps me thru it all and i give Him all the glory for the blessings in my life..i want to be thin, i want to be married..i have never married yet and i always thought it was because of my weight..that no one wanted to date a fat girl..well there are a few men out there who have proved me wrong and i thank them..but none has become my husband for some reason or another..
i know if God wants me to get married HE will provide the guy for me in the right time..right now i need to think about what my health needs..and do this for me and my life..i hope i can do this and keep going..i have done well except the past two days i have gone over the amount of calories i am supposed to have..instead of having the 1200 calories iam allowed, i have had more like 1400 calories..but i did walk and that is a start..right now its baby steps..and someday i will look back and wonder why i thought it was so hard to do..lol
enjoy the night..
God bless you all