Sunday, March 7, 2010

not the greatest day!




this has not been a very good day for me emotionally..i dont know what is wrong..if iam just a girl and it just happens..or if my nerves is just on edge right now..i got up today and was starting to be okay..of course this is saturday and i thought well it has to be a good day..its a weekend..all weekends are good..lol i guess i am just not feeling my best..i felt like crying today and ended up doing just that..my family was wondering what was wrong, but how am i supposed to explain that if i dont know myself..so i tried to just pick myself up and go on..

i had a disappointment earlier today and i guess that is what was making me teary all day..usually, if i would have a personal disappointment with someone, then i would end up letting go of the whole day and just saying the heck with it and eat everything in sight..so iam getting better..i went and ate with my mom and sister as i usually do..and that was making me feel some better..i did go thru the drive thru and get a single dip of ice cream..i counted the calories..i just wanted ice cream..see ice cream always makes me feel better..at least i used to think so..anything chocolate would make me feel better..haha!

ice cream is not really a soother..its all in the head there..i know that but i wanted it anyway..so we came home and i walked immediately after we got home in case it started to rain..i was hurting so bad in my knees and my hips that i had to push it the whole time i was walking..but i made 3/4 of a mile..which anything tonight was good..well i was feeling better emotionally now but when i got back inside i started the blank feeling again..

i got to my calories today..i am making myself eat 1300 calories to see if anything starts happening..i know this isnt a race, but i would like to see something fall off..i watched tv and read my bible and didnt understand the chapters..maybe its because i just dont feel good today..but now iam getting ready to go to bed and try and start another day tomorrow..i hope its better for me..after all its the oscars..
i did end up with 1385 in calories tonight..so i did eat more than i thought..but i will tomorrow too cause i am going to have m and m 's..hehe sean and his daughter is supposed to come by tomorrow..hopefully i will feel good again..

i hope you all have a good sunday! GOD BLESS YOU
KELLI

3 comments:

  1. I have had days like this too! Tomorrow will be another one and you made thoughtful choices. Thank goodness tomorrow is another day!

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  2. I think it is great that you can let your emotions out. I have some challenges doing that and think that catharsis is healthy.

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  3. kelli---I'm so happy that you're separating your emotions from your performance on this journey. It's paramount to our success. We can't allow our emotions to kill us. And when we throw it all away because we're upset--that's in effect, what we're doing.
    Keep strong Kelli---you can do it! I know you can!! You know you can. It'll be the greatest thing Kelli.
    I love you sis,
    Sean

    p.s.--That topless photo of me at 5 years old with you in the pool made me smile.

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