Thursday, April 1, 2010

trying to control my emotions..







i am trying really hard to keep my emotions from getting the best of me food wise..i know i can be an emotional eater, and that is where my overeating and eating ice cream would come into place..if i would get depressed or feel sad for some reason, then i would go down to the nearest conoco and buy me a pint of chocolate ice cream and then i would take it home and sneak it into my room and eat it..i wouldnt share it, i would eat it all..it was my comfort..my chocolate has always been my comfort..i even remember when i was younger and was sucking my thumb like most kids do..i would pretend it was chocolate..i didnt want to stop because it was chocolate..

well now i am trying to rely solely on THE LORD for my comfort instead of food..i know God will always be here for me and He has someone planned for me..i just dont know him yet..iam liking what iam seeing in the mirror now..i guess i didnt really like what i used to look like..even though i said i did..i have always had a good personality, but not always what the boys wanted to date..i didnt have any dates in school and i dont know if it really bothered me all that much then..i know it did later in life..but looking back on the before pictures i put up last night, how could i even think i was ready to go out with someone..even if the person liked my personality, i wasnt liking myself or i would have done something then to get rid of this weight..i dont ever want to see that weight again.. i am still trying to control the emotions..iam doing well tonight..i didnt go over my budget and thats good..i exercised 3 times today and that was good...a whole hour and half..and my knee was giving out today as well..so i did well today..and tonight i am doing well again..i am very emotional right now, and for me it is something i cant let control me..i was again told lets be friends by another one and i am so tired of lets be friends ..i love having friends i do..i couldnt get along without the ones i do have, but once i would like to hear i like you so much more than friends..normally i would go to the fridge and get out the pop and eat whatever was in there to over come these feelings..but not tonight..iam going to go to bed..actually iam going to read my bible and then go to bed and pray about it..
i hope you all have a wonderful thursday..its april fools day! now dont trick me..hehe
these pictures were taken along my walk today..my cat oreo didnt want to get up when i went walking this morning..hehe
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
KELLI

9 comments:

  1. Kelli! I know the feeling, I've been there so many times before. You can get through this without the ice cream though, I know it's tough, but you will feel so much better tomorrow when you remember that you succeeded! You made it without ice cream, just this once... :) You will find the right guy in the Lord's due time too...I know, cliche, but so true! Just trust in Him and He will deliver...He always does. xoxo-

    D

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  2. thank you so much..i am trusting in Him and iam going to bed..i dont need to eat my emotions away..thank you, you have a good night..kelli

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  3. Yay! Small victory! I know it is hard. Food was/is my Romeo. We just can't be together because I am emotional. I understand your impatience. and Diz is 100% right this will happen on there own time.

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  4. Oh, I totally understand where you are coming from. If I'm happy/sad/mad/frustrated/scared/hurt, etc...what do I do? Eat! You're doing awesome!

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  5. Stay focused on what you have got to do. Never give in.

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  6. The best thing about this journey, besides losing weight, is learning to know yourself.

    Good for you for not giving in to your food habit. The Lord helps them who help themselves and it looks like that's working for you.

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  7. I'm glad you are facing your stuff, not stuffing your face! It can be so hard... but you are doing so well.

    Yesterday and today I talked about this same thing on my blog... about how we can feel these intense feelings, and BE OKAY. In the past, I would run to the food to numb them.

    But now I am thinking it is like a tunnel... just something that I am traveling through, temporarily, and soon I will come out the other side. And now, I don't want food to be my traveling companion any more, with all the negative fallout from that, like guilt, shame, frustration, added pounds, etc etc.

    I am glad you curled up in God's lap... He is wonderful comforter.
    Loretta
    =^..^=

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  8. Kelli,
    I'm so sorry that happened to you.It helps me sometimes to remember that food IS NOT my friend.
    It's kind of an unwanted guest that brings about crappy results.
    God loves you and wants the best for you.
    Hang in there, you can and will do this. One day at a time.

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  9. I've learned to make friends with the daily demons that come to me as thoughts and temptations...they keep me humble...they float into my mind...I recognize them for what they are and acknowledge them as the truly powerless emotions that they are. I think they'll always be with me, but I can just smile at them and move on with my plans...you'll get there too.

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